In the end i care not for my own happiness nor well being.
In the end all i fear is losing you due to my mistakes.
In the end if i were to lose you, i'd soon lose myself
In the end it has nothing to do with me.
I placed myself in a predetermined state in which i will never be loved the same way i have loved you. No one will ever care for me the way you did and i will die alone. I live in that constant fear. As day follows night i live in fear that one day you will get tired and no longer want me, no longer need me, no longer think of me.
Do you think of me?
Do i make you happy?
Do you love me?
Am i good enough today?
Questions upon question i continue to ask in hope you'll answer with grace and love. Although i'm afraid your truths will pour out and again i will be left with nothing.
Will you shatter me like the others before you did?
Will you soon move on and forget i exist as the others before you did?
Will you begin to fuckother women when i can't like the others before you did?
Are you like the others before you?
In the end you are my bestfriend, my lover, my absolute happiness.
In the end you are a mystery to me. I never know whether or not feeling are mutual between us.
Ill ask you the only question i can pushed myself to conjure up when facing you.
How much do i annoy you?
I am sorry for the annoyance i press upon you, for the guilt i press upon you. I never meant to get so attached. I'm sorry i gave you my problems and called it trust. It was trust that i gave to you. My life has been unkind to me and you have stuck around long enough for me to tell a story or two. I'm sorry for that. I never meant to press my annoyance on to you the way i did.
You are a beautiful man, but you are not good for my health. You make me constantly apologize for my personality and figure. You make me hate myself. You make me question my reasons for living. You make me live in fear. You are the reason i cannot breath. You are a man with many issues that you ignore. You leave me to fight and defend you. You have done a lot to me as well as take a lot from me. You are the reason i cannot breath. You are the reason i cannot breath. You are the reason i cannot breathe.
You gave me anxiety and i called it love.
