Without A Voice (Based On A True Story)

The Final Stretch

It was finally my senior year of high school. I was excited with the possibilities ahead of me. My friends and I were caught up in the whirlwind of college applications and scholarships. Deadlines upon dealdlines, it was nonstop action. On top of this, I was still designing my senior project.

My project was a goalline sensor for a soccer goal to better indicate goals scored in a match. My mentor was a close family friend, who happened to be an electrical engineer. He and I designed a sensor along the length of the goal that is the minimum distance into the goal required for an legitimate goal. It was outstanding, considering I was only in high school.

Things were going my way for once. I was on route to be a valedictorian, scored well on my SATs, and developed the only functioning senior project in school history. I had a lot to be grateful for at that moment in time. I was said to be "the greatest comeback story of all time". That claim still sticks with me today. James White, the Comeback Kid. Ten years prior, I was looking to end my life. How I wish I could tell my younger self the great things to come.

Mother was very proud of my adacemic accomplishments, which I owed her for a long time. She and everyone on her side of the family were supportive of my accomplishments, and the tough road I took to achieve them. Many of them told me that I was living to my fullest potential and finally getting what I deserved. The amount of love I felt was immeasurable.

In the blink of an eye, it was that time of year. Graduation snuck up on all of us. I looked around at everone in their caps and gowns; the men were in blue, and women in white. We had ten valedictorians in our graduating class; since Faraday didn't offer any AP classes, anyone with a 4.0 GPA was eligible to be the valedictorian. I knew a few of them, while the others were completely off my radar. It didn't matter to me. I was just excited to speak in front of my family and friends.

I was the third person to speak. I was a nervous wreck on the inside, but I held my composure. The entire left side of my body went numb and my hands were pouring with sweat. I looked straight at Mother, who was crying while holding a video camera. She sat with my aunt visiting from the other side of the country. It was really special for her to be there to see this. Seeing those two gave me a much-needed confidence boost and the anxiety disappeared as quickly as it arrived.  I turned to the page with my speech on it. We were all given only a minute each to speak, but it was the greatest minute of my life at that point:

We have all accomplished a lot throughout our time here. Four years, gone in a flash. We made great memories and even better memories. Throughout my time here, I had one saying in my head: 'Nothing is impossible, but very difficult to do.' I never limited myself, and neither should any of you. No one thought I would succeed in life, but here I am today. No one thought I would be an athlete, but I became the captain of the soccer team. No one thought I would step out of my shell, but I danced for you as your May Day king. There are no limits in this world. Outside this school, outside this city, we are doctors, lawyers, CEO's, and whatever you want to be. Don't let others define you. Define yourself. 

The rest of the ceremony went well. The valedictorians were first to receive our diplomas; well, they were fake diplomas that we later exchanged for our official diploma. I walked up the right side of the stage, shook the principal's hand, and met my walking partner in the middle of the stage. We paused for a second or two, then proceeded down a concrete ramp towards the audience. We slowly walked down the middle aisle, pausing briefly for our families to take pictures. I was fighting back the tears the entire route. We reached our seats, then the rest of the class began their diploma ceremony. 

As I saw my friends receive their diplomas, I reflected back to those horrible times in elementary school. I could see the younger me leaning over the railing, thinking about jumping. I imagined the present-time me  grabbing that sad little boy from the ledge, and turned him towards me. The pain on that unfortunate child's face broke my heart. The younger me and I crying our eyes out. I looked into his eyes and signed to him, "Everything gets better."

"How do you know?!" he signed angrily. "Everyone hates me!" 

"Because I am you, an older you." I replied. "Trust me, give it time. We are stronger than people give us credit for." He and I both hugged each other tightly. I could feel the pain that little boy felt from how hard he cried on my shoulder.

I eventually snapped out of it when my the school's alma mater started and we all joined hands. I still wish that I could go back to those hard times and tell my younger self that everything would be okay. If only I could go back to tell him that there will be an end to the hardship. 

Per tradition in Hawaii, the graduates walked to a designated area and greeted by our family and friends congratulating us. My family used a sign that I made for John's graduation (since I made it using our shared first initial followed by our last name). Everyone hugged me and put the traditional flower leis over my head, draping around my neck. We took pictures and enjoyed the moment. They told me how great my speech was and how proud they were of me. It was a foreign feeling, but I liked it. However, there was one person I definitely didn't want to see.

Kourtney came up to me with one of those inflatable pool rings, with writing all over it. She and I spoke about this previously, and I explicitly told her not to talk to me. It wouldn't be fair to tell her not to come at all, so I respectfully told her to stay away from me, but I guess she didn't want to honor them. She wrapped the ring around my waist and quickly hugged me. "I know you said not to see you, but please don't be mad." She said to me before walking away. To make matters worse, she did it in front of my family. I quickly took the ring off and gave it to Jacob to hold for me. I was upset for a second, but grateful that she made the long trek to Faraday.

Everyone left to meet at my grandparents' house for a celebratory dinner. I hung around a little longer to congratulate my friends and wish them good luck in their future endeavours. The sun was starting to set, so I decided to head to the party.

I walked across the soccer field, and reminisced about all the fun times I shared with the team. We had a lot of good times on that dirt lot. Then I was interrupted by a distinct voice, a man's voice.

"That's my son!" the voice echoed, "My son is a valedictorian! He's going to do great things in this world! I'm so proud of him!" I looked around and no one was near me. I paused for a second and realized that there was only one explanation. I looked up to the sky and it started to drizzle. I closed my eyes as the raindrops mixed with my tears. "Thanks, Dad." I said. "Thanks for everything." I wiped the tears from my eyes and continued on my way.