Blockage (hiatus)

Chapter Five

It was taking a while to recollect myself.

Flashes of the three boys repeated themselves, a constant loop of perfection. Their words, their faces, their voices. Even as Luke chattered aimlessly, I couldn't figure out a way to respond. My tongue was tied and my heart was beating a mile a minute, leaving my words a chaotic jumble.

I was almost jealous of how easily Luke communicated.

The blonde beside me had his head tilted toward the ceiling with a fond smile. I couldn't comprehend why he was smiling, our interaction hadn't been the best, but I didn't have enough courage to ask. My observation continued over his profile, noting his sharp jawline and the straight set of his shoulders.

How am I compatible with someone so perfect?

"I'm curious," Luke tried to start up a conversation again. So far, the attempts hadn't yielded much, "Is this your first year here?"

Pinching my lips together, I glanced away. My shot at an articulate response was difficult, "... here for a while."

"Dang, I was hoping we wouldn't be the only new kids," in my peripheral, I saw Luke gift me a questioning glance, "Is it always this... wild?"

Wild wasn't the correct adjective for Ashley Waters, but I suppose it was the politest. The school was a breeding ground for deviance. It didn't matter how good you tried to be, eventually you would be trapped into the same cycle of depravity. The best you could do was keep your head held high and hold onto the moralities you did possess.

"It is," I didn't burden him with the expanse of my thoughts, "The first day's one of the worst though."

"Huh," Luke hummed under his breath. He didn't appear comforted by my words, but kept his concerns to himself. "Well, we're here cupcake!"

Stopping short, I stared at the wooden door. Luke didn't retreat from his position beside me and simply waited for me to make the first move. I didn't want to. This morning changed my life with just two simple presences and I was sure there were more surprises coming, like Nathan's appearance. They couldn't all be here, right?

Swallowing down my nerves, I peeked up at Luke from beneath my hair, "Are... how many of you—? I shouldn't—"

"Hey," a hand landed on my lower back. Ignoring the resulting flinch, Luke continued, "I know you're scared—"

Scared? I wasn't sure that encompassed everything I felt. Overwhelmed, terrified, and a heaping pound of hopelessness sounded better. Everything had changed, everything. It felt like I was walking in a brand-new world, a place I never thought existed, a living fairy tale.

My knights in shining armor were here... it just seemed like there was nothing left to save.

"Cupcake?" the hand on my back removed itself and Luke leaned his head toward mine, "Where'd you go?"

"Sorry," I shook the nightmares off before placing a hesitant palm on the door, "I'm trying not to be scared, I just don't know how to do this."

By this, I meant accepting them. Accepting the fact that people cared, or at least they were supposed to. They'd appeared genuine, even North's predatory exterior, but I didn't know how to let people in. Even Luke's chatter seemed like a foreign concept. The fact that they wanted me... it was mind boggling.

"You don't have to do anything," Luke seemed pleased by my admission, but I didn't know him well enough to tell for certain. "I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, but you'll understand when you meet everyone."