Together let's breathe - Josh Dun fanfic

1. Josh

I never thought that this many people would know my name. When I look back to when I could go outside without people coming up to me, it feel like a lifetime ago. My face lives in so many phones and cameras that I'm not sure it belongs to me anymore. This is the price of living out my passion. I am the drummer in the band twenty one pilots. I get to travel the world with my best friend, Tyler, and hit the drums as hard as I can.

It's really not all bad. The best part of my day is when a fan tells me our music saved their life. When I think about how I helped fight other people's demons it almost makes mine go away. I've gotten a lot better with my anxiety and dark thoughts, and I can almost sleep through the whole night now. Tyler has helped me more than the doctors and the pills I used to take. He was my best friend from the moment we met and have been practically inseparable since.  

Things are different now though. Tyler and Jenna have been married married for a year. He spends most of his free time with her now, as he should. It's been hard to let go of spending all my time with Tyler. They try to include me every once in a while, but I don't always like being the third wheel . I mean, I still see Tyler everyday, but that is work time. 

Before they were married Tyler and I shared a tour bus, but now Jenna and Tyler travel together and I have my own bus. It's lonely and I know Tyler feels bad. When Jenna isn't on tour with us Tyler will stay on my bus. Those are my favorite nights because I can sleep peacefully. We watch bad movies and cuddle on my couch. To be clear, Tyler and I are not sexual. It has never even been a discussion. We know our fans project that on us and would flip if they knew we cuddled. We just like the closeness and warmth. It works for us, even more since I've been single. 

Debby broke up with me two days after Tyler and Jenna's wedding. I couldn't help but to see the irony. Maybe it was the way I looked at her when I saw her in her dress, or the way I held her on the dance floor. Whatever it was something scared her enough to leave. I didn't beg, I didn't cry. I let her go thinking she would calm down and come back. A year later she will text me when she sees something that reminds her of me, but she never wanted to come back. I've given up hope she'll ever be with me again despite her staying single as well. When she texts me, I smile and I hope when I text he back, she smiles too.

                                                                                              ...

This the biggest tour Tyler and I have ever done. One sold out show after the next, I can't even fathom how many tickets that has been. Today we are somewhere I've never been before and can't remember the name. I'm thankful Tyler will do all the talking on stage tonight so I don't need to remember. The two of us are hanging out in the room the venue has set up for us backstage after sound check. Tyler is sitting right next to me on a big leather couch. I look over at him and smile.

"What are you looking at?" Tyler jokingly asks me.

"Just your beautiful face" I joke back.

This makes him smile too.

"I'm taken you know"

I put my arm around him and scoot in closer.

"Oh really? Does she cuddle better than me?"

Tyler is blushing. Our manager, Steve, comes into the room at the worst possible moment. We have never been caught before. We knew no one would understand, and what I just said could be seen as flirty. I've been single too long I think to myself.

"Um...what did I just walk into?" Steve asks.

We scramble away from each other.

"It's not what it looks like...really!" I say. 

I'm not so sure Steve is buying it though. Tyler nods in agreement. 

"Right, well pull yourselves together because I have someone for you two to meet. "

Steve sticks his neck out of the doorway and motions for someone to come in. I can feel Tyler shifting around to sit up a little more.

"Boys meet your new assistant, Marie." 

The woman, who must be Marie walks in and my mind has gone blank. I've forgotten my own name. She is the most beautiful woman I have even seen and yet she feels familiar. I don't know her, but yet somehow I do. I've never had his feeling before of instantly being drawn to someone. 

Tyler stands up and I absent mindlessly follow. He reaches out his hand to shake hers. Marie reaches out a shaking hand. They introduce themselves to each other.  

"What about out assistant Sarah? What happened to her?" Tyler asks.

"She will still be with you, but she felt like she needed help so we crunched the numbers and hired Marie" Steve said.

"Are we really that demanding?" Tyler joked.

"Frankly, yes. More coffee runs than Sarah could handle." Steve joked back.

I still can't speak or move.

"Josh, she will be living in your bus so you better get friendly fast" Steve says before leaving the room.