Adrien stared at his clasped hands. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he tightened his grasp on his fingers. His knuckles turned a stark white. His sadness seemed to consume every part of him. His thoughts, his words, and his tears. Thinking about her only fed this sadness that resided within him.
Someone approached him. She held onto the sleeves of her long-sleeved black dress. He let out a shaky breath before looking up. Alya gave a weak smile. "Hey..." Her voice croaked. He couldn't imagine how his voice sounded. He nodded and cleared his throat.
"Hey..." Alya laughed at his tearful voice, but then had to wipe her own tears away. She gave him a bunch of tissues and Adrien was grateful. His eyes were sore from crying. He wasn't sure if he could cry anymore. He had no more tears left.
"How's Sabine?" Adrien asked. She sat down next to him in the booth and sighed.
"As good as a mother could be right now." Alya sighed and Adrien stared at the center of the table. He felt sick.
"What are you doing down here?" Alya asked and nodded to the empty bakery. Adrien finally looked around him and noticed that he was the only one down there. His eyes fell back to the spot on the table.
"I just needed another moment... I couldn't go up there right away..." He could hear the people talking upstairs where the Dupain-Chengs lived.
Alya stood up and offered him her hand. Her smile was pained. He couldn't imagine how she felt. "We can go up together." She seemed like she needed the support more than he did so he stood up and took her hand. They walked up the stairs in silence.
The door was open as the wake continued. Everyone was eating and talking. Adrien couldn't even imagine eating. He felt so sick. Adrien could practically still smell the fresh dirt from the cemetery. It lingered in his nose and created this nauseous feeling. He couldn't eat. Alya let go of him to hug Nino. The waves of sadness crashed down on him again.
He glanced around, his green eyes scanning for nothing in particular until they landed on Sabine. Marinette's mother was sitting at the kitchen table. She stared at her plate full of food but looked like she hadn't even taken a bite. He made his way over to her. He needed to say how sorry he was.
He couldn't imagine how it felt to lose a daughter.
He sat down next to her and she jumped like she had been lost in her thoughts.
"Oh hello, Adrien." Her smile didn't quite meet her eyes.
He opened his mouth to return the greeting but nothing came out. He didn't know what to say to her. She seemed to notice this and she began to laugh. Her laugh soon turned into a soft cry. He handed her the tissues that he had stuffed in his pocket only moments before.
Sabine took them gratefully and held onto his hand. It took all his strength to not cry with her. "I'm so sorry," Adrien's voice wavered. She tightened her grip on his hand as she continued to cry. Her grasp was painful but he didn't care. He imagined that she needed to manifest her pain physically because he needed the physical pain too.
When her cries finally quieted, he hugged her because he knew they both needed the comfort.
The wake was pretty loud. Classmates and family all shared stories about Marinette. They talked as if she hadn't been buried six feet underground a few hours prior. Alya had put together a slideshow that had videos and pictures of the once lively girl. Adrien could hear her voice and if he closed his eyes he could imagine her in the room. Looking at her seemed to tear his chest apart.
Marinette's mother gently rubbed his knuckles. Although her eyes were red, they still twinkled with kindness. "Marinette left all of her friends something," She took a shaky breath and looked at the table. Adrien's heart dropped as he saw the small brown book. He dropped Sabine's hands and took the object in his own. "She left you her diary," Sabine said quietly.
Her name was painted on the front cover in gold. He traced his finger over the letters. The tears seemed to burn his eyes.
He didn't want it but he still took it. Sabine smiled at him. "She cared about you deeply." The words hung in the air.
He held the diary carefully, some of the pages were loose and papers were stuffed into it haphazardly. His heart felt heavy like her journal. He gulped as he played with the page corners. He looked down at her name again and stared at it.
Adrien didn't want to read a dead girl's diary.
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Always, Marinette • adrienette au
FanfictionA dead girl's diary leaves a boy in pieces. Translations: Czech- @SabikM