The Life Log of Corrie Cornwell

FRIDAY, 3RD FEB 2017

Hey Jasper the blank-page-only-you-won't-be-blank-for-much-longer-<insert yawn>,

Sorry Jasper I'm [yaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwnnnnnnn] very tired. I went to sleep two hours ago. I do NOT recommend doing that.

Anyway, I am writing to you because my annoying brother, he who shalt not be named, stole the last of the fudging muffins. What makes it worse is that his friend picked him up and Jason's he-who-shall-not-be-named's logic is that his friend would want a muffin too. What he doesn't do is apologise and give me my fudging muffin back noooooooooooo. He has to look me in the eye, smile like the criminal he is and run while saying he loves me. So in case you didn't get that Jasper my brother smiles at me while telling me he loves me all the while taking my soul with him, in other words he lied to my face. Anyone who knows and loves me would never I repeat never take my food. It's been done before and it was followed by an immediate tumble down a set of stairs, after that incident we moved to a house without stairs.

It's not my fault Jasper, he's like a slinky, completely pointless but it still brings a smile to my face when I push him down the stairs. You would smile too, it can't be helped.

...

Anyhow, my day just got worse from there:

I missed the bus. The stupid bus continued squeaking down the road as I stand in the freezing wind. The only thing missing is rain, at least I have enough of a brain not to say this out loud.

My phone lies in a forgotten trash can, it had dropped its last fall, it had broken for the last time, and no longer will it drop from my hands. I might be a tad clumsy. Well just let it be known that without my phone I am unable to call my brother to drop me off at school.

Jas I'm going to tell you now but I despise the cold. I feel sluggish, tired, empty, and I turn horribly pale and pasty. So basically if you search zombie there will be a picture of me in winter.

Trudging through the cold, I imagine I must have looked something like those old black and white shows. The one where the man is constantly being blown back by the wind, I always laughed. I think I have a new perspective now. Not fun! Not fun at all!

After an hour of torture – cold and physical activity – the school gates are open before my eyes.

"Oh thank you Lord, thank you, it's over, it's really over!" I exclaimed with my hands raised in thanks.

"Miss Cornwell! Why are you so late?! To my office now!" Miss Terra squawks I can't help imagining her as an angry chicken flapping her feathers.

"Miss Terror I honestly didn't mean to be late you see-" I began to explain myself.

"My name is Miss Terra not miss Terror! My office NOW!" she squawks some more. I think I just made an enemy out of the most evil teacher at school. Props to me. Honestly someday I'll be in the Guinness book of world records for the most enemies or something. I'll get in that book for something at least.

...

Detention for every lunch this week. Why world oh so cruel?! I doubt I could ever get Tally to do something wrong so he could join me. I might be able to frame him though. What to do? No he probably get back at me. Probably won't share his food with me. Well this sucks.

"Stop moping." Tally told me.

"What is the point of my existence?" I lament to whatever controls the fate of the world and my non-existent life. "I might as well not eat my food." I alleged toward my plastic box, piled high within the box is my own self-made pasta. Mani fique and to die for if I do say so myself.