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ㅤㅤi couldn't find the right words to say. my brain's not taking it. "please tell me this is not true. please..."
"what the hell, this computer was off when i left it. how did it open?" i heard a gasped from the lady. she immediately clicked the off button and get back to work.
i took a deep breath and felt tears on the side of my eyes. i've been crying a lot, i feel like i'm running out of tears and blood was coming out of my eyes.
my eyes stings, and so is my heart.
"why didn't she tell me this? i could've been more protective to her."
my shoulders are weak as i went outside the hospital. i walk around to let myself relax even a little, but i couldn't, the thought of it is still lingering on my mind. i looked up the sky, seeing the stars as it twinkles- immediately regretting it.
i remember the beautiful smile she was wearing when she told me this, "taehyung... when you miss me just look up to the night sky and remember, i'm like a star; sometimes you can't see me, but i'm always there. i'm always here."
damn it.
when i was about to sit down on a bench, i felt numb again. that's when i realized that i was frozen. the place around me was starting to change, everything became a blur when suddenly, instead of a public park, a bedroom was seen before my eyes.
"yes, mom." joohyun answered her phone, she was seated on her bed. "i'll be there next day."
when my body felt normal again, my butt hits the floor. "owww." i scrunched up my face.
"what was that?!" she shrieked, looking on my direction. her hand's still holding her phone. "oh, sorry mom. i just felt a vibration against my foot. no, nothing bad happen. okay, bye, love you." she looked at my way gain before she shrug her shoulders.
i get up and rubbed my butt, fuck, it hurts a lot. i then heard a hum coming from joohyun, i watched as she put her phone down, grab her bag and place her clothes properly in it.
"i feel bad." she said to herself. "but i have no choice, i need to go abroad. my parents are already there, waiting for me. they said that the doctors there are really good and could take care of me. this is making me insane, seriously. my mind's telling me that i should go, but my heart tells me not. what should i do?"
"please tell me what to do." her voice cracked.
"taehyung..." she trailed and i looked down. i don't want to see her cry because of me, every time she does that, i feel hatred to myself. "you don't know this but, i love you so much. you are not just a best friend to me, i think you are the right man for me."
i suddenly forgot to breathe, did she just said that?
she felt the same too?
our feelings were mutual?
"but sucks for us, the timing is not agreeing into it." she smiled sadly. "i'm saying goodbye soon and fade in your life."
"no no, baby don't say that." i answered, even though she will not hear me.
"it's hard for me, but i know it's hard for you too." she squeaks. she was crying so much. "wait, i don't even know if you feel the same. you always shove me away whenever i tried to show you my feelings. you always make rude feedbacks that i know is just a joke but... do you really not see me as a woman?"
"i mean, don't you see me as your ideal girl?" she asked in nothing particular.
"joohyun, i love you." i answered, wiping my tears using the back of my hand. "i love you very much, i'm sorry if i didn't let you know about it. i love you. baby i love you."
"i love you, kim taehyung." she said and i softly went to her bed and hugged her.
"i wish you'll feel my embrace." i whispered as she continues on crying.
"tomorrow..." she trailed. "i want to see you for the last time before i leave you and our memories together. and if you say you love me too... i'm not going to hesitate anymore, and just go back with you. i'm willing to run away with you, taehyung. even though my parents would be mad. if it's you, i'll do everything."
"even if i die, it's you." she spoke, looking at her window as she says. "so i'm begging you. please tell me you love me too and i promise, i'm not going to let you go. i will stay for you."
