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ㅤㅤjoohyun, do you remember how it felt like? whenever you remember our memories together, do you feel happy like i am?
because me, whenever my memories with you flashed, i could feel the happiness, love and everything at once.
"taehyung! get that cockroach away from me! yah!"
"why? cockroaches are friends, say hi joohyun!"
"hi your face! yah! stop waaaaaah!"
"don't run away! come on~"
i want to go back to the way we used to be. i want to feel your skin so close to me.
"get down here now!"
"why would i do that! you're such a cheater! haha come and catch me if you can!"
"ugh! i don't want to play anymore! let's stop!"
"nooooo i still want to play with you!"
but i guess there's nothing i can do anymore.
•
•
•
"v?! v! wake up!"
"bro, come on! you're making me nervous, don't tell me you're already dead!"
"shut up suga, don't overreact."
"says the one who blacked out awhile ago."
"i said shut up, su-ga."
"joohyun!" i jolted awake. instead of seeing her, i saw jimin and yoongi leaning at me. "what the hell!"
"jesus christ, thank you! thank you! kamsahamnida!" they both scream in unison. while i'm looking around, confused and shook.
"what am i doing here?" i asked and they looked shocked. "i said what am i doing here!"
"calm down." jimin tapped my back. "we turned off the time machine—"
"what?!" i couldn't help it but feel angry, "why would you do that? i was so close to get my facts straight!"
"taehyung, you've been inside the machine for four hours, and at first, you're doing good. you're just standing there calmly but when we checked you out once again, we saw you collapsing inside and tears was flowing down your face. and just in moment, the machine starts to make sparks too. that's why we decided to turn off the machine." jimin explained and i just facepalmed.
"ha. i guess destiny is not on my side." i laughed bitterly to myself, "i've already tried time machine but it still didn't work out."
"are you giving up already?" yoongi asked, frowning. i didn't answer that, instead, i looked up to them and sighed. "is there something wrong?"
"i found out something about her." i trailed, my eyes starting to form tears. "the reason why she has to go states is because she has... she..." the two looked sadly at me and hugged me.
"what is it, man?" yoongi asked, "tell us so you won't have to carry that in your heart alone." jimin hummed in response. the two let me cry and weep to their shoulders, not complaining that i made their clothes wet.
"s—she loved me." i stated, "but she didn't tell me because she was afraid- same goes for me. we both love each other but we're scared of rejections and consequences. funny right? we've been loving each other secretly for a long time, instead of having a fairy tale like story when things went to happily ever after, ours went overboard. tragic."
"damn..."
"i'm sorry man..."
my feelings for you was real, joohyun.
but i guess even though i said "i love you" when we were on the airport, everything's already too late.
you're carrying the child of the man you were talking to and a disease, you have a serious disease.
what can i do to stop that? it already happened. even though i bawl my eyes out, i have nothing to do about it anymore.
"what are you going to do now, taehyung?" yoongi asked, letting go of me as he looked straight to my eyes. "are you going to continue your will and wait for her?"
"or this time, are you willing to risk everything just to come find her in states?" jimin added and i stayed silent as i fiddled my fingers.
"i guess..." i speak up, the two of them waiting patiently, "i guess the right thing i should have done ever since is to just give up and let her go..."
our love we have for each other is only hurting ourselves. that's why i made this decision, but don't ever forget that i'll always love you. you're the best thing that ever happened to me.
