Undercover (Phan)

Chapter 5

Phil's POV

The way Dan left my house was, to say the very least, a bit strange. Why did he start acting so strange all of the sudden? Is he anxious and just needed some space? I definitely know what that's like. Or was it something I did? Was I too weird around him? Did I say something odd that freaked him out? Was it the fact that I left the room to take a phone call instead of spending time with him? What if he thinks I'm rude? What if he thinks I'm weird?

What if he was telling the truth and really did just have something going on?

I hate this. I hate what the past few months have done to me. I didn't used to be such a nervous wreck. I used to just live my life the way any normal human being would - or, as close to the definition of "normal" as I am. Nevertheless, I never used to be so afraid of everything...One of these days, I've got to get the courage to ask Mum if I can see someone about these issues. 

Then again, who would I talk to? I don't think I'd be very comfortable going to someone like a regular therapist or a school guidance counselor. I'm sure once I turn eighteen and get that job that's waiting for me, there will be someone there who knows what I'm feeling and who can sympathize with it.

Now that I think about it, maybe Dan can too...

But how much can you vent to someone you just met before it gets too weird? Sure, I can vent to PJ and Chris and Louise, but I feel like that's all I do with them nowadays. They listen and try to give me advice, but...I guess I just know that none of them can relate to it on the level that I'm at right now. Perhaps Dan could, but I don't know...

I wonder if mentioning that he lost one of his parents got him emotional?

He seemed fine after telling me and we were able to talk normally afterwards, but it would be understandable if that was what was on his mind even though he seemed perfectly fine. I would completely understand if talking about that to someone he'd only just met got him emotional, especially if the loss was recent. I definitely could understand that...

Well, whatever the issue is, I hope he's doing okay. I'll have to ask him how he's doing at school on Monday. I wish I could text him now to make sure he's okay. I mean, I doubt he'd be texting while driving a motorcycle, but when he got home he'd see it. I'll have to ask him for his phone number when I see him at school. Maybe we can hang out some other time. He seems like a really cool guy and I'd like to make better friends with him if at all possible. I want to figure him out, if that makes any sense. There's just something very strange about him that's got me very curious about him.

He just moved to a new town for what seems like the billionth time though, so that could also be another reason why he's stressed or why he had to leave early. That's another thing I want to ask him about. What do his parents - or, parent, I guess - do for a living that causes Dan to have to move around so much? That must be such a hard life, moving from town to town so much and not being able to stay in one place for very long. I mean, I guess it would be cool getting to travel so much, but it would be really hard to make friends that way. I've lived in the same house my whole life and I would love to travel more - I'm sure I will in the future - but I don't know if I could handle traveling that much. At least not while still in school. Dad traveled a lot and God knows it wore him the hell out, but he didn't have school or grades to balance out in between travels either. And he loved it...

Moral of the story, I want to get to know Dan more. From the sounds of it, I may have finally found someone that I can relate to on a deeper level. I also would love to be the one that gets to uncover the secrets of the school's new mystery guy because almost every student in year twelve is wondering about him. We get new students from time to time, sure, but everyone seems to sense that Dan is hiding something, that he isn't quite like the rest of us. I know I'm not the only one that thinks that.