Our Purpose

Chapter Three

"Do you really have to wheel me everywhere? It's a bit degrading."

"Just standard procedure for the first day."

"What is your name? Not that it really matters, I plan on leaving soon, but I guess I should know who to call in the case that my roommate decides to have a manic episode and tries to kill me."

"Okay, my name is Jane. And if I may, I would like to offer you some advice."

"Sure, go for it."

"I know that it sucks to have to be here, but just know that all the other kids feel just about like you do about this place. Personally, I don't care if you have an attitude towards the nurses and therapists, but you should try to connect with the other kids here. They all already feel alone and abandoned, no reason for someone like you to make it worse. At least try talking to someone today, maybe you'll be surprised."

I didn't say anything after that. Mainly because I knew she was probably right. I was most likely over reacting. That didn't, however, change the fact that I was here and I was not supposed to be.

We arrived at breakfast when it occurred to me that I had not yet met my roommate. I hoped to god he wasn't completely crazy. I got in the breakfast line and saw that eggs and toast and bacon with a side of chocolate milk or orange juice was being served. After getting my food I went to sit at a table. None of them were empty so I just sat at the first table with the least people. Two people were sitting at the table I picked. They didn't appear to be all that crazy or out of it.

"Hey" I said "could I sit here?"

"Sure, you must be new. I'm Ava, and this is Brian."

"Hey. So why are you here? Ava is here for depression, and I am here for an eating disorder, severe depression, and some other things."

"If I told you, you'd think I'm insane. But I swear, I'm not. I'm just processing a lot and I can't think clearly enough to explain myself rationally."

"Okay. I mean that's fine. If it makes you feel any better, you are the most stable sounding person I've talked to in a while." Brian said

"Thanks, I guess."'

"Are you going to be here long?" asked Ava.

"Don't plan on it. I'm just trying to get out as fast as possible. I am honestly not supposed to be here."

"That's awful. I know that I am supposed to be here, I can't imagine thin.. knowing that you aren't supposed to be here." Ava remarked. Brian just sat silently and stared at his food.

"Brian, please eat. You need it."

"Ava, I'm not hungry."

"Yes you are. You may not think you are hungry, but you need food to function. If you don't start eating I'm going to get someone."

And with that he nibbled at his food.

"Would you guys mind if I stick around you two for a while?"

"I don't care." said Brian.

"Yeah, of course, we'd love that."

"Thank you. It means a lot."

A few minutes later a nurse came to every table to lead us to the gym. Ava and I watched as Brian played basketball with some other kids. He Is actually pretty good.

"He played on the team at our school, until he got sent here." Said Ava

"I can imagine. He looks like he knows what he's doing" I replied.

"what grade are you going into?"

"Junior"

"good luck, man. I am going to be a Sophomore."

"good luck to you too."

Ava giggled "I'm sorry, I'm an awkward person. No good at small talk."

"It's fine, I'm pretty awkward too. I'm sorry if I seem a bit zoned out, I'm not trying to be, there's just been a lot of things for me to process."

"It's cool, I totally get it, your daily life was just dramatically changed and you are not sure how to handle it. A lot of kids get like that when they first get here."

"That'snot exactly it, but close enough."

"Alright. If you feel like talking about anything, Ill gladly listen."

"Alright same for you from me."

"Thanks."

"So, how long have you been here? You seem like a stable girl. Think you're getting out soon?"

"I've been here for a month now. They haven't found the right medication yet and I'm still having the occasional death wish."

"Oh, I'm sorry, it must be rough."

"It's not too bad once you get used to it."

"Well, I guess that's good in a way. But it's also kind of sad that you have gotten used to living in a mental hospital."

"I suppose you could look at it that way. But if a few months in this place will help me for the rest of my life, then to me at least, it's worth the stay."

"Never thought of places like this in that way. But now that you say it, you're right. However, I don't have a legitimate reason to be here."

"I get what you're saying. If it is really true that you don't have any good reason to be here, then just comply completely with what people tell you to do. Claim that your medicine is working. Write happy things in the journal you'll get later tonight. Basically act as an average person would, and they'll have you out as fast as possible. They don't need another mouth to feed or patient to constantly check on."

"Yeah, that's my plan."

"Well best of luck to you."

Then Ava began to write in her journal and I went back to watching Brian.