You know what, I'm going to be staying up all fucking night thinking and beating myself up about it mentally and I know it. He's not going to talk to me, I don't have to be a genius just to know that shit, but I shouldn't have to think this way you know...the fact I know when I come home that there's nothing there waiting for me, no one to message, nothing but to lie on my bed and think sleep or watch Netflix is sad. And doing that everyday is breaking me more than I could've ever imagined.
I know it's normal to feel alone but the fact that I feel it all the time, everyday, every minute, second, hell every millisecond shows...I really need help. Help that no one is providing me with. Help that no one is willing to give. Help that obviously my own boyfriend isn't prepared to give. My mind is going to take over tonight, just like it does every night, and at this point I honestly don't give a shit. There's no point in getting enough sleep because I don't fucking need it. Nothing is worth sleeping for, when I know it's not even going to happen the next day, so to hell with tomorrow. Tonight, I'm going to stay up to keep myself happy because obviously no one else fucking can.
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late night thoughts
RandomJust my thoughts at night. Before I sleep, when I wake up, when i am awake, you'll never know! Hope you enjoy! Might get kinda deep later on tbh so here's your warning, loves. Now I'm gonna try to sleep, if my mind stops trying to have a constant wa...
