Question Everything - A Diary Of Thoughts

January 7th

January 7th 2012 6:51
Things are getting weird here at home. Mum and Dad are fighting. I’m.. Kinda scared.. Insults are flying everywhere. Niko is so lucky. He doesn’t have to hear these things. I might go sit with him in his room. Give me a sec.
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Back. Niko asked me why I was here and I just told him I felt like having a bit of company. Oh yeah, we talk by writing notes to each other by the way. Since he's deaf and all. We both found learning sign language too hard and so we stuck to writing notes. Thanks to that we have a never ending supply of paper and pens. I wonder what it's like being deaf. Living in eternal silence. It must be nice. You don't have to hear the terrible things that come out of peoples filthy mouths. Deaf people mustn’t have many arguments either. I personally have never argued with Niko. Why bother writing down your arguments on paper? It takes so long. And you get the chance to be more careful of what you say when you write things down so Niko has never had anything rude said to him. Because of that he hasn't said anything rude to anyone else. He probably doesn't even know what rudeness is, being home schooled and all. He's so pure. Must be nice. Now that I think about it, how did my parents teach Niko to read and write? It must have been difficult. He probably just thinks of letters as symbols that don't make any sound. How did they teach him what words meant then? Did they have to write the word orange and then show him an orange and expect him to understand? If he was suddenly able to hear, would he understand what we were saying at all? Would we have to teach him what these ‘symbols’ or ‘letters’ sound like? Would he be able to speak? He doesn't know how to pronounce letters because he's never said them before. But then, does he have a voice in his head like the rest of us? Does he think in a voice? But if he doesn't know how to form words or sounds he wouldn't be able to think them either would he? Does he have his own little language of sounds that go with the letters or does he think in silent symbols? I want to know so bad. Oh my god. I just heard something smash. I'm actually soooo scared right now. I think I might cry. Yeah. There it is. Tears on paper. Crap I'm going to ruin my diary. But I don't really care right now I'm just scared. I can hear the arguing getting closer. What if they come in here? What if my parents hurt me or Niko accidentally? I'm shaking. Niko looks concerned. Of course he is. He doesn't understand what's going on. I told him Mum and Dad are fighting again. He's hugging me now. I feel a bit better, but I'm meant to be looking after him, not the other way around. It may only be by a time gap of six and a quarter minutes but he's still my little brother. I'm shaking too much to write now…. My handwriting is all messy.. I'm going to end todays entry here.