Stuck In Reverse (Luke Hemmings)

Chapter 21: Decisions Decisions

"C'mon Jules, come get me!" Calum said before running in the opposite direction.

"Guys I hate running, who decided a game of tag was a good idea?" I called after him as I ran down the hall. 

Yet another thing I can't do if I go to UCLA.

It's been a week since I told Luke about my acceptance, but it hasn't left my mind since. He hasn't told anybody, so there wasn't anyone else that I could talk to about it, except for Lou, Michael, and Liam, of course. But I usually only saw Lou if we were working, and Michael and Liam were usually around Harry, so I couldn't talk to them without him finding out about my UCLA acceptance.

"Tag!" I yelled as soon as I caught up to Calum before turning and running down a different hallway.

I ran into the arena area of the venue then, which was counted as 'off limits', because I didn't feel like playing anymore. I sat down on one of the seats, panting and trying to catch my breath. 

"You alright?" a voice asked, and I looked up to see Ashton watching me intently. 

"Out of shape," I said, finally catching my breath.

"Not exactly what I meant, though I am glad physically you're alright." he said, sitting down. "But while everyone else is running around, do you mind if I talk to you for a bit?"

"Go for it," I said.

"Michael told me." he said. "Don't be mad at him, it's not his fault. He came to me for advice because he wanted to help you but didn't know how. He didn't want to tell me the situation, or the specifics, he didn't even use your name at first, but I weaseled it out of him. So I wanted to talk to you about it."

"Okay," I said.

"What's going through your mind?" he asked.

"I don't want to leave all this." I said, gesturing around to everyone. "I'm still thinking. I know going to school is great for me. It's all I've ever wanted. To go to school to major in English, and become a writer. I used to write little stories all the time when I was younger, and being a bestselling author was always just a sort of pipe dream for me, since singing wasn't what I wanted to do with my future. But you guys are my family. I could stay on the tour and still work, and continue to do this as a job, and then I wouldn't miss out on all these plans."

"Jules, this is your whole life ahead of you." he said. "College is all you've ever wanted. You can't give that up for us. Especially for what's going to be only a few months. You're going to have an amazing time in college. Especially in L.A. We live in Sydney, that's true, but with all this recording and album making that we're going to be doing, we're spending so much time in L.A. after this tour ends. You're still going to see us. You're still going to see Luke."

"Yeah..." I agreed softly.

"Is that it?" he asked. "Are you scared of Luke cheating on you? Because that whole thousand mile cheating rule is bullshit, especially for Luke. He'd never do that to you."

"I don't know," I said honestly. "I trust Luke that he wouldn't cheat on me. I just don't really like it when plans change. And I feel like I'm letting everyone down because I'm the one changing all these plans."

"Have you talked to Luke about it?" he asked, and I nodded. "What did he say?" 

"He wants me to choose college." I told him. "But I knew he was sad about it. I know he wants me to stay on tour, whether he shows it or not."

"Let's go on the bus for a bit." he said as Niall and Zayn entered the arena area, also escaping the game of tag. 

I nodded, getting up and following him out of the venue. There were a few fans waiting outside, and we stopped to meet them quickly before heading onto the bus. Nobody was on the bus, so I grabbed a couple bottles of water from the fridge and a bag of Cheetos and we sat down at the kitchen table.

"Okay, so I'm asking you this as a best friend, and just so you can have someone to talk to, but... have you and Luke..." he trailed off.

"Had sex?" I asked, and he nodded. I nodded slowly then, "Yes. We have."

"That's a big deal, Jules." he said. "For both of you. Luke doesn't take that lightly."

"I know," I nodded. "I trust him, I really do."

"Then you'll find a way to make the right decision." he said. "You know what I think the right decision is, and what Luke thinks is the right decision, too. But now it's up to you. We can't make you do anything, because it's not our lives. It's yours. And you need to do what's best for you, and I trust you to know which decision that is."

"Thanks, Ash," I said, reaching over and giving him a hug. 

"Hey, I'm here anytime." he said. "I'm like that big brother when there are things you don't want to tell your actual big brother. No matter what it is, school, Luke, anything, I'm always here."

I nodded. "Thanks, Ash." 

I heard the door open then, and saw Luke's face as he stepped onto the bus. When he saw me, his eyes immediately lit up and a smile crossed his face.

"Hello gorgeous," he said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Aww, thanks Lukey," Ashton joked with a giggle. "Well, I should get back inside, but it was nice to talk to you, Jules. I'll see you guys backstage before soundcheck."

"Bye Ash," we chorused as he left.

"So what'd you guys talk about?" Luke asked, sitting down next to me and popping a Cheeto into his mouth.

"Just this whole college thing," I said. "He knows."

He nodded. "I know this is a hard decision for you," he said. "but there's no way I'm letting you pass this up."

"But Luke, I can stay on tour, and we don't have to be apart. I can stay working, and then I can meet your family, and we can do all those things. I'll give up UCLA for this, I can take a gap year, this can work."

He shook his head. "Not like this. It can't work like this. I'm not letting you give up college, Julie. Not if it's the last thing I do."