Starry Eyed. Lashton AU

9.

No matter the day, Ashton would never fail to leave a note in my locker, and each day would leave me falling more and more hopelessly in love with him.

But I was determined to take his breath away, this time. Out of all the people I'd dated, if that's what we were even doing at that point, Ashton was the only one who ever left me speechless and a smiling mess. I was determined to regain the upper hand. It was like a challenge, the good kind. The kind to better myself. Ashton had been doing that to me lately; having that kind of effect on me.

Everyday, I was remembering to take my medicine. And everyday, I was trying harder and doing better in my classes. And everyday, I was getting better and better at writing letters. But the one I wrote on the 7th Sunday and slipped into his hand the following Monday after school while we sat on the couch at my house was by far the one I was the most proud of at that point.

Ashton.

I love you.

Luke

Ha kidding, that's not the end. I know that I should've said this out loud the first time, but your first words to me this year were in a letter, so I thought it was only fitting.

But I wanted to tell you that I really do believe that I am in love with you. I love the way you make me feel like I'm finally normal, even though you're going to tell me I'm normal with and without you, but you make me feel whole, which is something I've never felt anywhere else in my whole life. I love the way you walk with your hands in your pockets and brush your hair out of your eyes even when it's no where near your eyelashes. I love the way you never fail to leave me a note in my locker every morning, and how it's always waiting there for me, even when I get there before you. I love the way you talk to me and you don't mind if I'm listening to your words or watching your lips as long as your the center of my attention. But the truth is you're the center of my universe, cause when you smile, it's like the sun. And god, I love you.

I love you.

Ok, for real now this is the end of the letter.

Luke.

I don't think I'd ever seen Ashton cry before that, but when he looked up at me with tears in his eyes, he looked genuinely scared and like a shooting star, I swore I could've seen a glint of regret flash in his eyes. But it was gone as soon as it had come and I convinced myself that I'd imagined it. I should've been paying more attention.

He didn't say it back. But he didn't have to. I just knew. He threw his arms around me and we stayed like that for a long time. I don't remember how long because I was too busy memorizing the way his arms felt wrapped around me. Though, now I wish we would've stayed like that for longer, because I'm finding it hard to remember.