Lost in Forever

Why?

Why does he always leave me? I just want to love him. He said that he also loved me, so why is he leaving. What gives him the right to keep doing this to me? God damn it, Renji!!!

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," I screamed out. I got off if the hospital bed with some struggle and punched the wall. This isn't fair. I can't take any more heartbreak. This is the last time! I put my clothes on and walk out of the room. I have never been more mad or hurt in my life. I have to find Renji!! I leave the hospital without being detected and walk to my house. That's the only place I could think of that he would be at. I stumble into my house and I find him frozen in place staring at me in surprise.

"You're suppose in the hospital!" He acted as if I was in the wrong.

"Listen here you dick, I had to escape the hospital just to find you. You think that this is all about you well think again. This is about me too. Do you ever think about how I feel? I love you! You told me that you loved me but you keep leaving me. Why?" I had tears running down my face and my voice was cracking, "Why, God damn it!"

"Benny Boo, I really do love you. You have to believe me on that. It's just I'm not good enough for you. I only want you to be happy. That's exactly why I can never allow myself to be with you." He looked at me with his beautiful red eyes. His voice was a whisper but I got his meaning.

"You don't want to be with me because I'm half angel and you're half demon. Are you serious? Did you really think that I ever looked down on you? I never cared about any of that!"

"But I do!" He gasped, "I-I didn't mean it like that. Ben I-"

I looked him dead in the eye and calmly said, "No, it's fine. I finally understand how you really feel. I'm nothing more then a toy for your amusement. You played me well." I turned around and left.

"Ben! That's not what I meant! I would never use you!" I heard Renji yelling after me. I didn't look back.

That idiot! I have had enough of chasing him around. I will never let him get in my way again. Ever!

I walked down the block and to a nearby park. Sitting down on a bench, I looked out across the park. It was nice. There was a small pond in the middle of it and a playground off to my right. Big trees surround the outside of the park and benches were scattered across the area. It was a nice clear sunny day and there was a cool breeze. Everything was nice except for me. I sat on that bench for hours, eventually I ended up laying on it. By now it was dark but I had no intention of going home. I looked up at the stars.

"I wish I could be like you." I whispered up at them. They just continued to shine down on me. Sighing, I closed my eyes.

The next thing I knew was that I was on the ground. "I finally found you!" I looked up and saw Renji standing over me.

"I didn't want you to look for me. Go away." I tried to get up but he sat on my stomach.

"I don't want you to have the wrong idea about how I feel."

"It doesn't matter what I think; all that matters is you got your wish. I will never try to be with you again."

"Benny Boo-"

"Don't call me that!"

"But Ben-"

"Please just leave me alone. You have caused enough pain. I can't keep letting you do this to me."

"I don't want to hurt you and that's the problem. I don't know what is best for you; all I know is I want you to be happy. Just tell me what will make you happy and I will do it."

"All I ever wanted was you, Renji, but you kept pushing me away."

"I'm sorry. I had thought that you didn't want me. I know I'm not good enough for you but if you still want to be with me, I will not push you away this time."

I begin to cry. That's all I had ever wanted you asshole! "Why? Why couldn't you see that that was all I ever wanted? I have always cared for you and yet you only push me away. This is all your fault to begin with! You did this to me!"

His eyes grew wide, like I had shocked him. "What did I do to you?"

"You.. you made me fall in love with you. We were just friends but then I went over to your house and everything changed somehow. I dunno, something just clicked inside me. I didn't realize it at first but I fell in love with you."

"Ben... I'm sorry for everything I did. I didn't realize you loved me. I thought that you hated me after what happened. I.... I want to make things up with you. I want you to be happy."

Tears ran down my face. Renji, I love you! I love you! I love you! Why do you do this to me? Even when I want to let go, I can't. You've put a spell in me. I've never been more happy in my life. I felt myself glowing.

"Ben! Are you okay?"

"I am fine. Why?"

"I can see your true form."

"True form?" I looked down at myself. I literally was glowing! A pure white light raised from my skin. I also noticed that I was about two inches off the ground. Looking to my side I saw my bird-like wind gently flapping. I looked at Renji and almost dropped. Was this his true form? He looked like the devil himself. Big black horn protruded from h is head and his nails were all sharp. He had feathered wings like mine but his were black.
He also had pure white shark-like teeth. His eyes were completely crimson red.

"Do I scare you?" He asked me. What do I tell him so th a t he will understand how I feel?

"Renji, you are still the most beautiful person I have ever met and you need to get that through that thick skull of yours."