"Nothing is more sad than the death of an illusion."
~ Arthur Koestler
***
"You're kidding," I say to Mac through a mouthful of pizza. Mac looks down with an embarrassed laugh.
"Nope," He says and he takes a bite of his own pizza.
"You," I say, swallowing. "Mac Thompson, are afraid of balloons?" Mac's laughing goes on and he looks at me, his eyes continuing to sparkle. I smile in disbelief and take another bite of my food.
After grabbing the pizza, we made our way to the park downtown that had the huge pond and where the geese liked to roam in the spring, and we parked under one of the many elms that grew by the sidewalk. The sun is starting to set and all the windows are rolled down, letting in the frigid air of February and the scent of dying trees mixing in with out cooling pizza. There's a Panic! At The Disco song playing in the radio that sings,
"True, all of the good girls act so good,
'Til one of them doesn't wait their turn,
Turn the memory to stone,
And carve your shoulder,
Hey holy roller..."
"Technically, it's called globophobia," Mac corrects me and he finishes the crust of his pizza, reaching in for another slice. I giggle - yes, giggle - and lick my fingers of tomato sauce. "What?" He asks with a grin.
"You're afraid of balloons," I snort. He rolls his eyes and punches me softly on the arm.
"Hey at least I like The Walking Dead," he teases.
"It's stupid! There's no point whatsoever, it's just another zombie show -"
"And Teen Wolf is 'just' a stupid werewolf show."
"No it isn't." I protest. "It's way more than that -"
"And that my friend, is why you shouldn't judge a TV show by its trailers."
I look at him, my eyebrow raised. He looks back at me as if proving a point. "You do know that's not the quote right?" I tell him and he shrugs his shoulders.
"I made a few alterations." He starts eating another slice. I scoff but before I can say anything he says, "Same concept thought," he eats a huge bite of his pizza and continues. "The point is, judging something before you give it a chance is complete bullshit," I look at him like well duh and am just about to say it when he shoots me a look with raised eyebrows. The look reminds me so much of his... of the way he looked at me, surprised that he'd outsmarted me and wondering if I was okay with that, which I normally wasn't. The look that was so characteristically him and showed in his cobalt blue eyes and dark blonde eyebrows. And he would always end this little look with a huge grin and a twinkle in his eyes, wrapping his arm around me and telling me how much he loved me before planting a quick kiss on my mouth.
Stop it, Cole. Just stop.
I squeeze my eyes shut as if to dispel the memories away with my own sole willpower but it's doesn't work. It only makes them worse. Dark blue eyes become one with the darkness and fine blonde hair sifts through my fingertips. My mouth is wet and moving against another soft pair of lips, sliding hurriedly and tenderly over them, but not quite fully in control. I never was. No, I never was.
