"But what if I fall?"
"Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?"
***
We decide to leave the door open so that we are forced to keep calm. This was hard for me to agree to, being that I want to kick him in the face after what he's said. I mean really, it's that tempting
We're sitting on the floor, a few feet away from each other, just enough so my legs and fists can't reach him, which is sort of infuriating.
"Look Cole," Mac begins. I fold my arms across my chest. "I didn't mean what I said," He looks up from the ground at me and I clench my teeth, hoping I'm not red in the face. God, how can he do this to me even when we're in an argument? "About... about Jason ruining you."
I gnaw on the inside of my cheek nervously. "I wasn't thinking," he continues. "I know he's left some scars and so have others -" I grimace at those words, feeling the amount of pain that those memories hold like stabs in the chest. "- but scars are actually beautiful in their own ways. They're intriguing in fact. And I guess..." he pauses. I ball my fists into the carpet. "I guess I said it because I don't know why you still love him," my heart lurches. I cough. My head aches. Mac sighs. "I want to make you forget about him, let him go, but I don't know how. I don't want you hurting all the time, because it doesn't hurt only you. It hurts me too. I want you to feel happy and wonderful when you're around me. I don't want to remind you of him or them."
I hang onto his words, as if somehow they could pull me out of myself.
I see Mac gulp. "I haven't been very fair to you," He says. He looks back up at me, apologizing. "I know more about you than you know about me, and that's not okay," His eyes are warmer now than before, less cold. Like they should be. "I can't expect you to love me back when all you know is that I'm a stubborn heartbreaker."
I can't help but smirk. However, though it's true, I can't imagine him being a heartbreaker, not in a million years. Being one would require having broken many hearts. As far as I know, he's only broken one.
"Let me make it up to you," He says, moving himself closer. It's all I can do to resist the urge to move back. "I can take you out driving tomorrow. We'll start over from there." The pleading in his voice is undeniable. I purse my lips.
Don't do it, Cole. Don't do it.
We can start over from there.
Don't do it.
I sigh. "Start over? As in from the beginning?" I ask. Mac's mouth twitches.
"From the beginning." He answers.
I sit up straight. The voice in my head keeps yelling at me to stop and move on. To tell him to screw off and leave me alone. I ignore it. Mac was put in my life for a reason - whatever that reason may be. He was the one who was there for me when Harley was being a bitch. He was the one who was there to help me after last night with Jackson. I can't let him go.
Not yet.
