How?

Brian - 5

It's been a whole week since I started staying at my house again. I've been distant from the guys, more focused on cleaning up and getting rid of the stuff that reminds me of her. Even though it hurts and I can't do anything right other than play guitar and drown myself in vodka, I toss all of her shit into a box and leave it out for the trash. I can't stand sleeping on a shitty, worn down cot, resenting my own home. There's only one thing I can't bring myself to get rid of, no matter how much I know I need to.

"Brian!! I'm so glad you're home. I got you something. I hope you'll like it. I saw it and thought of you and just knew I needed to get it!" Her super-model like smile was escaping through her lips and her voice was full of excitement. Her hand grips at mine, tugging me to our room before I can even say hello and give her a kiss.

I stand in the door way in utter shock, staring at the most hideous, lion-safari bed sheet already spread out on my bed. It was honestly repulsive - but she looked so eager and proud.

"It's so amazing, just like my wonderful wife." I finally kissed her hello.

I pull it off of the bed it's been on for three years and fold it angrily, shoving it into a clear bin and hiding it all the way in the back of the closet. That reminds me, I desperately need to do laundry.

The laundry room smells of old, dry-caked on powdered detergent and clothes that never dried. I need to do more than I thought. The cleaning supplies in here are still good, I think, so I use some hot water and bleach to wipe down the dusty surfaces and scrape off the caked detergent.

Next I mop the floor with some good smelling shit and water and load the machine with clothes followed by bed sheets and curtains, pillows and pillow cases. I don't remember the last time I did this.

I spend the rest of the day cleaning - something I've never done. Surprisingly, it's distracting and by the time I'm done, the clothes, bathrooms, kitchen, living room, bedroom, guestroom, studio, dining room, laundry room, garage and closets are all clean and smell like some exotic flowers or some shit. Not bad, I never knew that cleaning could be so cleansing for me.

I'm exhausted, realizing it's almost 8 o'clock and I've been cleaning since around noon. I've forgotten to eat and my phone has a bunch of missed calls and text messages.

I ignore them and go take a steaming hot shower, telling myself I really need hit the gym again. My muscles are starting to get smaller and I look limpy.

Synyster Gates is not limpy.

I put on some boxers and walk downstairs to attempt to make something to eat but then I remember everything I have is either expired or canned.

I guess I'll have to order Fuji's or something. I look up and something by the window catches my attention - it's Lila. She's just gotten home it looks like - but she's crying.

No. I need to stop it. She's not my problem. I'm not getting involved.

But I can't stop watching her.

She looks up and sees me looking at her. This makes me panic, so I close my blinds and curtains. Why does she make me want to tear all my walls down? For fucks sake all I did was get a creep away from her. I don't understand. I don't know her. I spent so long trying to put up with being alone. Why does she have to ruin this?