How?

Brian - 1

This damn bartender is taking too fucking long to get me my drink. Why did I even come here? This place is shit anyway. 

I get up from the old, rustic, chipped wooden stool and walk out of the old bar's sticky metal doors and lean against the dusty, cool bricks. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, enjoying the ominous silence the night holds. When I open them, the darkness seems too surreal. Maybe that's why I like it so much, the fear the darkness gives me sets off a spark of adrenaline that makes me want to run for miles. Why am I able to be myself after dark but not when the sun is up? During the day, I'm nothing but a self-centered prick who is bitter about his ex. But at night, I get to be alone with my thoughts, and maybe that's why I'm not such a dick anymore. 

"Hey little lady, how much do you wan' for a night?" My thoughts get cut off by some obnoxious drunk trying to get a girls attention.

"Uh - I don't know what you're talking about." She stutters and backs in to the wall he's pressing her into.

"Come on honey- I won't bite. I've got cash." His voice becomes firmer.

"I-I-I.." The tiny female's stutters become stronger and she tries to push away but he doesn't let her.

"She said leave her alone." I speak up hoarsely.

"Well, looks like you got a big guy to defend ya'." He eyes her down one last time, reaching up to touch her cheek.

"Get the fuck away from her." I snap, suddenly getting angry. I have my own fucked up problems but I somehow feel obligated to help her. She gave him the opposite of consent, he needs to fuck off. 

"You know what, fine. See ya' later princess.." His hands go up in defeat and he huffs like an angry toddler, walking away and slamming open the nasty double doors.

I resume my position back on the wall, calming down as the cool breeze makes the leaves on the trees move, my slight alcoholic buzz making it seem like an intricate dance pulled out of some sort of dance recital. 

"Hello? Big tall guy?" A small voice interrupts my thoughts.

"What?" I snap, not even thinking before I speak. 

"..I just wanted to say thanks for getting him off my back." She looks at me and then looks down towards the floor, her body language screaming anxiety. 

"Well whoop-di-do, I'm a hero, I saved the day. The old guy is a dick. Simple." I keep a straight face, trying not to give in and look at her. See what I mean? Ever since her all I know how to do is push people away. At least the sane part of my head is able to acknowledge it.

"I'm Lila by the way.. I just meant that he could've hurt me and well you stopped him.. Why?" Her voice quivers.

"I'm sorry, I am I not allowed to have morals?" I spit out. Knowing I should leave, I stand in place anyway. Damn it Brian, why'd you even have to get involved? Oh yeah, 'morals'.

"I never said- I just meant that- Never mind, I should go - you probably don't care." She turns around slowly, her face flushed.

"I never said I didn't care." I say instinctively, immediately wishing I didn't. Those were the same words she would use against me.

"Oh - so you do care?" She asks confused, her back still turned to me.

"No." I say coldly, leaning off the brick wall to stand correctly and face her behind.

"Look I don't have time for fucking games." She says under her breath but just loud enough for me to hear as she begins to walk away.

"Neither do I - I didn't even know we were playing. See you around." I turn and begin to walk opposite from her, my mind consumed by flashbacks of pointless arguing and fogged memories.

I end up at my house, which I only ever go to to shower, eat, and do laundry because she still lingers. My brain can't handle one more sleepless night and my back can't handle another night sleeping on an old cot in the recording studio. 

I pull out my keys from my pocket, feeling for the right one. It has a colored rubber binding on the top, to make it easier to spot without actually looking.

"So much for see you around.." A familiar voice says quietly, the quietness of the dark allowing me to hear.

"I don't come here often." I sigh and walk in to the beautiful, spacious, dust-filled, remorseful place that is supposed to be my home.