I Will Fix You (Ziall)

Chapter 20

Niall can't believe what's happening. It's like they would never run out of problems. Their lives are so dramatic that he thinks they're in some sort of TV drama.

Unfortunately, they're not. And everything that's happening right now is real.

Sometimes he wish, he could turn back time. Then maybe all of this won't happen. They'd all still be happy and all. But he can't. He's no time traveller or magician or something. He's just... Him.

He's just human. He also have feelings and he wish the boys will realize that.

He's sitting on the veranda, thinking. He can't believe he's the one who's making other people sad. And to think he's the one who promised they'd be happy again.

He think he's being too selfish. He's so happy that Louis is talking to him again normally he forgot what would Harry feel. He feels so guilty right now.

"You don't have to feel so guilty, you know. It's my fault after all."

Louis sat beside him. He didn't turned to face him and just stared straight.

"Why Lou? I mean, now that I think of it, you really acted weird when you found out I'm gay."

"Honestly? I really don't know," Louis said. "I-it's maybe because, he ruined my relationship with Eleanour.."

"Is that all?"

"Yes. I mean, I think so. Yes."

"If you can't be honest with me, then please be honest with yourself Lou." Niall said and he stood up.

"Wait, where are you going?" Louis asked a little panicked.

"I, I can't let my relationship with Harry end just like that. I'm sorry Lou but I won't talk to you until you sort out your feelings." Niall pity Louis but he can't let things continue like this.

"H-hey, don't you think that's a little unfair?" Louis grabbed Niall's arm.

"I'm sorry Lou." And he turned his back on Louis.

"Fine, leave. I'm used to it anyway. People always leaving me. Eleanour and now you. After all I did when Zayn... Ugh! Just go!"

Niall jumped an inch when Louis' voice got higher. He feels so guilty again, but he has to do this.

For the sake of Harry, Niall. For the sake of him.

He know he's being unfair with Louis but there's nothing else he can do.

He sighed deeply and started to walk away. And as he take each step away from Louis, he started to wonder if what he's doing is the right thing.

~**~

Niall didn't talked with anyone the whole day. And he's starting to go insane with the quietness when he was disturbed with a knock on the door.

"Come in," he said. And there comes Liam.

He ran to hug him.

"Liam! I've missed you! It's like years since the last time I talked to you!"

Liam hugged him back and chuckled.

"Yeah, been in my room." Liam said.

They sat on Niall's bed. Niall is beaming at Liam like the older boy is a new toy out in the market that he wanted to buy.

"I...How are you?" Liam started.

"I'm, well, fine. I guess. How 'bout you?"

"I've been thinking..."

Niall's smile faltered and he laid on the bed with his hands on the back of his head.

Liam sighed deeply.

"Since when, you know, had this feelings towards Zayn?" Liam asked and Niall looked at him.

"Like what I've said, I've been in my room. And it's not sound proof."

"I don't really know Li. I guess from the very start I, I've always liked him."

"Was that the reason why... why you've always been in Zayn's side?" Liam suddenly said.

Niall turned to Liam, face full of shock.

"Is that, is that what you've been thinking all along?"

Liam smiled bitterly, not looking at Niall.

"You, you... Ugh! Look Liam," Niall turned Liam's face to him, "I, I've never been in anyone's side. Neither in Zayn's or your side or Harry's or Louis' or anyone else."

Niall's face softened as he started to talk again.

"I'm always here, for everyone. I don't take sides! You're all my best mates, so how could I?"

"Then why're you always with Zayn?" Liam asked.

"Because I honestly don't know how to comfort you. I don't know how to console you. I mean, the things you're going through... If I were you, no words could soothe me. I'm afraid I'll say wrong things." Niall answered.

"Then you should've atleast made me feel like I have someone to hold on to."

"I did."

"I didn't felt it..."

Niall was hurt. Not only because of what Liam said but because how the brown eyed boy said it.

Liam's looking right at Niall's eye when he said it. His eyes full of sadness and hate and emotions Niall can't name because he can't face the fact that these emotions of Liam is towards him.

"Because you didn't want to feel it..." Niall reasoned and his head fell down, together with his tears.

"I, I'm sorry Ni. I didn't mean this to happen. God, it seems like I've only came here to make you feel guilty."

"Nah, it's okay. I understand what you feel." And Niall wipes his tears away.

"Yeah.. I'm, I'm not really angry at you. I think I'm just kinda.. disappointed. And I don't even know with whom or why or fuck I'm rambling. I think I need some tea." Liam ran his fingers through his hair vigorously.

"I-I need to go Ni. I'm sorry for disturbing you." And Liam left, just like that. Not knowing the effect of their conversation to Niall.

And as the door closed, Niall broke down. Right then and there.

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Sorry for the typos and grammatical errors.