RANTS

RANTS - Boys (Part 1)

So, it's been a while since I published anything, so it's probably best for me to lay down some background information. I'm a sophomore in high school now and, well, this rant is about boys. A certain boy for that matter.

It all started in September, the beginning of school. I started becoming friends with this guy, Tanner. And I sort of had a crush on him. So, we started texting more and joked around during class. I didn't know it at the time, but he liked me as well. Anyway, our two mutual friends, Sam and Marie, found out and bent over backwards just to get us together.

And then when Homecoming rolled around, he asked me. I of course, said yes. I felt like I was on cloud 9. And on the night of Homecoming, we held hands (I know, scandalous). And then we became an official couple.

Things were great. I felt truly happy. Tanner wasn't only my boyfriend, but the person I went to with all my problems. We always had fun together. He's even the one I shared my first kiss with (on the back of the band bus ;D). Our first date was a group date to see Big Hero 6. And our first (alone) date was to the zoo during winter time.

We dated for a few months (3 1/2 to be exact), until things got bad. My parents, specifically my dad, don't approve of dating in high school. My mom was sort of okay with it, but had specific rules and regulations (that I broke). They both believed that dating should wait until after academics (which meant until after college). I never found this fair, so I broke the rules a bit. Well, his mom found out about this and gave me the incentive to tell my parents. She said (in a 3 page letter) that if I didn't tell them, she would, and the only way to prevent that would be to break up with her son.

My biggest nightmare was approaching. Either I could tell my strict parents, or let go of one of the things that kept me happy in life. I slowly came to the realization that what I did was wrong, and that I had to break up with Tanner. It was a mutual break up, and he even told me that if/when my parents lift this dating rule, he'd be happy to date me again, and that for now, he wanted to remain friends with me. I smiled a bit after this cause I thought that our friendship would stay strong despite the fact we weren't a couple anymore.

I was wrong.

I became desperate for him to talk to me. I would text him maybe once every day until I slowly realized that we weren't going to "remain friends". I would cry almost every night because of how he hurt me. Not the break up, but the aftermath. It felt as though my world was crumbling. Whenever he passed by me in the hallway my heart sunk and I would feel tears welling up. It took me months to finally stop texting him.

And during this time, it didn't feel like I was really over him. I would tell my friends that "I was fine" and that "I don't have feelings for him anymore". But when i said those things, there would be a voice in my head that would tell me "maybe he still likes you" and "he promised he'd wait". It wasn't until I talked to my friend, Carly, about this situation.

Carly and I were in the same room during a band trip and she told me that "When you and Tanner broke up, he told me that he was trying to distance himself from you by not replying to your texts." That was when the voice in the back of my head started to fade away. I realized that Tanner is just another one of those stupid boys that didn't know how to actually handle a break up (probably because I was his first girlfriend).

Anyway, despite all of this drama with Tanner, I sort of have a crush on another guy. He plays the trombone :D

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Hello to anyone that actually finished reading this rant! I sort of forgot about this story so I never posted... Sorry! Anyway, just like my other rant, none of the names I used are real. And also, I know I put "(Part 1)" in the title; that's because I just know that there is going to be more rants from me about boys. And honestly, looking back at this time of my life makes me realize how much of a drama queen I was. Anyway, this rant is a reminder that you are not the only one who has boy problems. So if you liked this rant, show it by voting. And what would you like me to rant about?

- Olivia :D