My time is almost up

Its okay

I guess you could say i have a lot of problems. for about a year I kept getting ill, colds, coughs, fainting, sickness, weakness, dizziness, etc. but i never think anything of it, everybody gets ill! But my mum however, the nicest mum you could ever have she is more like a friend to be honest, is worried, like all mums i guess. she keeps asking me if im okay "i'm fine" i'd say every time, altough im sure she never believed it. Over the past week i've had a terrible cough, sometimes it would make me physically sick and unable to breathe, this terrifies my mum. Before her dad died he began to cough blood. I understand why it scares her, our family has never been through something like that, he was sick for 6 years, i guess around the time i began to get depressed, it affected us all so much when he died, everytime i cough my mum would come running into my room to make sure im okay, panick in her face every time. I love her but sometimes she can love me too much. But i guess she had a reason, one day at school i began coughing in lesson, i had to leave the room to try and calm down because i was coughing so much, it made me sick.... again, i had managed to make it too the toilet before it happened. i then had to go to the nurses room, to get sent home, my mum got to the school in 3 minutes to collect me. When we got home i began coughing a lot again and i noticed blood on the tissue i was holding to my mouth. my mum began crying. It hurts to see her cry. "mum, i'm okay, honestly, it's probably just because i've been coughing so much and its hurting my throat, im fine, trust me" I didn't believe the words i was saying as they came out of my mouth but I was saying them to calm my mum. She clearly didn't belive it either as she kept me off school and made me an appointment and the doctors, much to my begging and saying I was fine. But tomorrow i have to sit in front of the doctor hoping they didn't need me to take off my jumper, i wear a top underneath, and see my scars, as they examined me.