My time is almost up

I miss you

When we started high school, Vicki was in our form class, we became good friends really fast. Although her friends at the time weren't exactly nice, meaning we didn't like them and they didn't like us, the feeling is still mutual. Even though we didn't spend that much time together at first we were great friends but most of our conversations happened over text. Sybil and Selena (Vicki's friends) started treating Vicki badly when they found out how close we had gotten. They would throw food and put live animals in her bags and clothes and leave her behind and run away from her. The first argument we had was after she started acting just as bitchy an the last words of the argument was her saying "AT LEAST THEY ARE MY REAL FRIENDS!" After that argument we stayed distant for around 3 weeks. But we became friends again but this time we were even closer, she wasn't close with Sybil or Selena anymore so this time we could actually talk in school. We were so close, we were best friends, thought we would be forever. Well that didn't happen. After around 2 years of good friendship with no arguments things started to go wrong. Honestly I don't know what happened, one day we were fine (she has started to act strange in front of the others but apart from that she was fine) and then the next day she stopped talking, distanced herself. I tried to talk to her and tried to act how we normally did but I got no return, this carried on for a number of weeks before I decided to message her. We weren't arguing at first, in fact we came close to being friends again, until she told me what she had done. She had messaged Selena and told her that we were being horrible to her and treated her like dirt (completely not true) and she began to lie to me make me seem like the bad guy and I lost it, I told her that I was done and couldn't continue the way we were, what she doesn't know is it broke my heart, we were closer then anyone else, we spent so much time together, had so many great memories, she was there for me when nobody else was. She knows things nobody else does. But I'd never let her see that, until now, until I had nothing to hold me back from saying how I feel, my time was running out, I wasn't going to hold back anymore. I wasn't going to be that girl who sits in the front of the classroom and does her work and never does anything wrong, never says what she is thinking. I cant change that I'm going to die soon but I can change the way I live, that is exactly what I was going to do.

"Truth is, I miss you, I miss how close we were. I hate not being your friend, I hate acting like strangers but after all we can't be friends like we were nothing can be like it was before. You made sure of that, but I hate not speaking my mind I'm not going to hide away anymore. I'm dying, yeah you kinda missed that, although I'm sure Scott has told you, I'm dying. I'm not being that stupid self-conscious girl anymore, so yeah I've said what is going through my mind. But don't say anything, I cant handle a conversation right now, goodbye, enjoy your life" I was sat staring at the floor as I said all of this, she was sat in front of me in silence, and I left before she could say anything because I didn't want another conversation, I didn't want to be friends, I didn't want an argument. So now you know that story.