The Listener (Superntural)

Chapter 19

The trip to the motel was quiet and annoying. I kept looking back at Sam and I saw that I had really broken his cheek. That was a really hard hit. I kind of felt bad about it, but my heart was still aching. I would look over to see that Dean was concentrated on the road and he wasn't going to peel his eyes off of it. I got Castiel to heal the cheek, since I couldn't bear leaving him with that much pain. When he realized what Castiel had done, I saw that he started to feel a little better.

"Okay, you two out of the car." Dean said to Castiel and me as we pulled into the parking lot. I looked at him and his green eyes were back. I shook my head and Castiel made no move to the door.

"No, we are family. We all need to figure this out." I told them. It was the unsaid words that came to life. Dean's eyes softened when I said that. He knew that I was right. We were a family.

"Sam, when did you think you were going to tell us this? When do you think we were going to find out, because we were going to figure it out sooner or later." Dean proceeded to tell Sam. He looked between the three of us and sighed.

"I wasn't going to, until I saved everyone. I was going to get strong enough so that I could make sure that demons never messed with Aurora, Castiel, or you, Dean." Sam sounded sincere, but I was still concerned that he wasn't telling us the whole truth.

"When did it start? How often have you been doing it?" Dean wasn't buying that either.

"A couple of weeks ago. I go into town to get it." He told us.

"You're meeting up with a demon to get your fix? Is this like some kind of Ruby deal?" Dean asked him. There was anger in the older brother's tone. I wasn't sure who Ruby was, but I'm not sure that I would like whoever she was.

"No! It's not like that at all! I find the demon and I kill it." He confessed. I wanted to puke a little. Although, all of it would explain why he was hornier and how dominate he was getting.

"Look, I'm getting stronger and I am going to finish this, then I will stop. Jsut let me try to fix things. I made you become the one that has to take the curse." Sam really wanted to finish what he started. I almost felt proud of him for doing that.

"Sam, no. You didn't make me do anything. I chose it because you are my brother. I chose it, because you and I both know that I would be able to deal with it." Dean told him. Castiel and I were now in a tennis match. Our heads and eyes going from one brother to the other. I was semi-expecting Castiel to poof and come back with a bucket of popcorn.

"Yeah, because drinking and ignoring all of it is what dealing with it really is. Dean, I can see that it hurts you. I can see that you being part demon - being part of what we hate - is killing you. I've looked up to you after all of these years. I know what you do to hide away. So just get off of your high horse." Sam told his brother. I had noticed that Dean had been drinking a bit more, but he never was drunk.

"Okay, look both of you. You are both hurt. Sam is trying to make things better, in his messed up way. Dean is trying to cope with being someone that he hates, even though there's nothing to hate about. So just deal with it. Neither of you are going to be able to change the fact that the other is trying. At least you are both alive. Keep in mind with that." I lectured the two of them. They just sat there and looked at me.

"I've done things to cope with the shit that I deal with. I've tried to kill myself. Each time, I would wake up in the hospital and the doctors would say that it is a miriacle that I survived. I can't get out of my life, but you two can. But you haven't. Both of you are better than you think." I was on the brink of yelling at them. I sighed and I felt a tear come out of my eye. I knew that they didn't know how far I had gone, with trying to kill myself. I hadn't ever verbalized it before either.