GAZE- Jarchie

3- Come outside

Friday 7:15pm

It's finally Friday and I'm here at this stupid atmosphere group. It's at a small theatre and I'm sitting alone on the lowest step while there are people on the higher steps behind and next to me. "Hi guys! Welcome" I hear Josie's voice as her, Veronica and Cheryl greet the people walking in. I pull my phone out and go on the group chat with Chuck, Moose and Reg. 'Where the fuck are you guys? I can't be bothered to sit here by myself, it's your shit' i message them getting pissed off. "Hello" A male voice says as he walks in. It was him. The guy I saw in the cafeteria. "Hi so nice that you wanted to come" Josie greets him. I find myself looking at him again, studying his features. "Just find a seat and we can start" Josie continues. He nods and looks around examining the room. He stops looking as his eyes land on mine. It was like he was looking for me. I quickly put my head down avoiding eye contact. I really need to control how long I stare. "Do you want some bread? I baked it myself" Josie says smiling while holding up a basket full of bread. "Cool. Looking forward to it" he says taking the bread as he walks towards me. I keep my head down looking at the floor, biting my lip to distract myself. He sits directly behind me and I feel his eyes watching me.

My phone makes a notification messaging sound. I check the group chat with Moose, Reg and Chuck. 'Sorry man, I have to help my mum with something I will come as soon as I'm done' Chuck replies. I sigh. 'Fuck was that today?' Moose questions.

"Hi" I look up and see Valerie. "Hi" I respond fake smiling. "Atmosphere group yay" she says smiling. "Yay" I say sarcastically still feeling the boys eyes on me. She sits with her friends on the step a bit further away from me. "Hi, we are overjoyed that you guys are here today" Josie says greeting everyone. "This here is Cheryl" she says pointing to Cheryl on her right "and this is Veronica" she points to Veronica on her left. "And I'm Josie" she greets smiling. "So you guys will be split into groups, or pairs and someone will cook everyday" she continues. What the fuck even is this? "It's important that you guys spread a lot of good vibes and love in the atmosphere group. Spreading love is not something that comes naturally to everyone. So... I thought we could all do a love exercise. If everyone could get up..." everyone stands up and I slowly look behind at the boy as I stand up who was already looking at me. I quickly look away and slowly sneak out the door on my right without anyone seeing. "If everyone could make a circle and hold hands" I hear Jodie carry on. There's no way I'm doing a fucking love exercise.

Not sure where to go I walk slowly down the corridor dragging my hand over the walls. I find the toilets and walk in. I sit on the toilet seat and decide to just play a game on my phone until the group meeting ends.

Suddenly, I hear someone come in. I flush the toilet pretending I actually went and open the door. It was him.

He was washing his hands. I walk over and wash my hands acting as natural as possible, glancing up at him while doing so. He has the same grey beanie on and a cigarette behind his ear. After he's done cleaning his hands he grabs tissue. Lots of tissue. I finish washing my hands and watch him. He grabs every single tissue from inside the rack and doesn't stop until it's empty. I look at him and shuffle my eyebrows in confusion. What the hell? He puts the tissue in the bin and turns round to look at me raising his eyebrows. "Did you want tissue?" He asks. I don't respond I just stare. He stares back then turns round to the bin, picking a bit of tissue out and hands it to me. Great. How nice. I awkwardly take it in my hand still not saying anything because I'm not quite sure what to say. He looks at me and smirks raising his eyebrows. "Come outside" he says as he walks past me and out the door. What just happened?