Trapped Without You

The Journal of Memories

Lockwood and George had been up the whole night, George wandered around the house trying to occupy himself with anything while Lockwood did quite the opposite, he didn't move all night, he sat in his chair in the kitchen reading Lucy's journal, he found each entry more interesting than the last. The first entry went as follows.
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Finally, someone accepted me, Lockwood & Co. Not the biggest or best agency at all but I do like the leader Lockwood, he has this feeling about him that makes me feel welcomed, though this is just a stepping stone, soon enough I'll be at a better agency, making more money. For now, this will just have to do, though I don't think I can handle that George.
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The first few entries followed a similar pattern of Lucy saying she was planning on quitting to find better work but a few weeks worth of journal entries changed that.
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I am starting to really enjoy working with these boys, it's so much easier not having a supervisor holding us back and Lockwood is just so full of enthusiasm it's infectious, working with him at my side makes me feel much better every day, though it still hurts. I can still hear the sounds of my friends screaming in that damned mill, I miss them too, I still feel at blame for what happened, why was I the only one to survive, I don't understand why I deserved mercy, hopefully spending more time here with George and his weird quirks and with Lockwood and his dazzling smile will make me understand why I deserved to be saved.
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Lockwood continued to read, entry after entry all night long, he was pleasantly surprised to find how often she wrote about him, she seemed to very much admire him. Then he opened to a page that immediately jumped out at him as different, mostly because it was extremely long and written much sloppier than the rest as if Lucy was writing in an extreme hurry.
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I hate myself for this, and I really shouldn't write it down but this is driving me insane. I'll just say it, I have developed the biggest crush on Lockwood! This is not good but I just can't help it with the way he acts, such a professional gentleman, with that damn smile of his that can brighten a whole room in the darkest of situations. Ugh! I can not fall in love with my employer! This is so not right but what am I going to do, there is no way I can bring myself to tell him and I don't want to have to quit Lockwood & Co., Portland Row is my home now, George and Lockwood have become my family which makes my feeling towards Lockwood just that much more wrong, and I can't go back to my hometown, I just can't go back.

Ugh! Why does he have to be so exciting, if he was more like George than I wouldn't have this problem? I know that eventually, I need to do something to fix this, I either have to somehow force myself to be annoyed by him, or I have to tell him, or I could just quit. It might be best that way, having romantic feelings for a fellow agent can comprise any case in any way, I can't let my feelings compromise George and Lockwood while we're out on a case.

I'll find a way to cope with it, for now, I should worry about our upcoming case.
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Lockwood sat there staring at the page, his stomach felt empty as can be and his head felt dizzy, he could feel his face heat up and his breathing started to quicken. He was shocked to say the very least at what he had discovered, he had no idea that Lucy felt this way, she had written this entry so many months ago, Lockwood wished she had told him earlier. He shut the journal and stared out the window, the sun was rising and the sounds of the people and cars bustling around began to fill the streets, this was one of the mornings Lucy normal enjoyed, Lockwood missed her dearly.

He got up from his chair and took a quick shower, then got dressed and found George.

"Good, you're dressed. Time to talk to the neighbors." George nodded, too tired to speak, and followed Lockwood outside with the journal in hand, the page with the sketch bookmarked. They went from house to house asking each neighbor but none of them remembered seeing him, not even the young lady whose garden Lucy had seen him in. After half an hour of searching the neighborhood Lockwood's knuckles were sore from knocking and George was practically sleepwalking. As they walked back home they stopped at every other house to ask about the rusted car, again, no luck.

Lockwood and George collapsed into the sofa when they got home, sullen silence filled the once happy home, the boys quietly sat next to each other, both praying that their beloved Lucy would walk through the door. All was deadly quiet.

"Lockwood!" George shouted as he sprang up from the couch, Lockwood himself jumped in his seat.

"What in bloody hell George!" Lockwood shouted back.

"We can call Scotland Yard and give them the journal as evidence. Maybe the drawing of the boy matches someone in the criminal records." George's eyes were wild with excitement, the drowsiness and depression that had hung over him like a cloak only mere seconds ago were lifted from him. Lockwood hopped from the couch and hugged George, something he rarely did.

"You truly are a genius! Why hadn't we thought of that yet! I suppose because we're bone tired." Lockwood dashed to the phone and dialed up old inspector Barnes and told him of the evidence, Lockwood and George then rushed to the authorities to show them the sketch in the journal.

Lockwood and George sat in a waiting room with the journal laid out on Lockwood's lap, the sketch of the boy staring up at him. They hadn't been waiting long but both were impatiently scowling at the wall listening to the clicking of a clock, waiting. Barnes opened the door and ushered the two into a familiar office, they had been here many times before due to the reckless ways they ran their agency. Lockwood shoved the journal into Barnes' face nearly smacking it against his nose.

"Have you ever seen this boy, has anyone ever seen this boy. Please! We suspect him to be the person who took Lucy away." Lockwood shouted leaning over the desk to make sure Barnes could see every detail of the sketch. Barnes grabbed the journal and studied it for a moment, he then called in an officer who took the journal into a different room.

"We will cross reference the sketch with our criminal database and if that doesn't work we'll try the missing person files, maybe he'll show up there. It's not a very good sketch so I doubt it'll match anyone though he does seem familiar to me." Barnes stood. "Please try to keep yourself calm Lockwood, you should be embarrassed, you've never once in all the years I've know you been so desperate for the help of an adult. You must care very much for that Carlisle girl." Lockwood's hand reached for his rapier, George stopped him.

"It's Carlyle. Lucy Carlyle and we both care for her so you'd better find her double quick." George said sharply. Barnes scoffed and began to walk away, he spoke in a careless tone as he walked.

"It'll take a while for us to check through all the files so I suggest you go home." With that he disappeared through the same door as the officer had, George took off his glasses and rubbed them on his shirt in an irritated manner while he and Lockwood made their way back through the halls of the building and back home. Lockwood and George both silently cursing dear old Barnes out in their minds as they walked through the door to Portland Row where they were shocked to find a dark figure rummaging through the cabinets of their kitchen.