so I thought I give a inside to my life what I deal with how I cope what goes on how I go in a day to night
so I want to start with christmas so if you havr read my book my teacher told me at 7 yea. so 2013 christmas everyone spends with family. I dont have a family so me and my empty house. so I didnt get any gifts like normal not a suprise there but I got 1 phonecall saying sorry he is busy laterly and csnt talk so 2 minutes phonecall not once did he wish a merry christmas as the call was based on his life.
I sat for hours wonderibg how I fucked up this bad to be alone 365 days per year
silents over came me and there was ny sob once a while
I cryed nyself to sleep on christmas not the first time but the first it still hurt when I woke up.
new years eve
home alone the biggest party on a world scale and I I am in my house in a party for 1 persln 3 knife 4 bags of drugs and 1 bottle of alcohol.
I say just when it hits 12 "this year I make a friend" so far I havent even second looked or anything I should try harder I should make the first move
all done all shoved back in my face.
why did I get picked to have this meaningless life
my only friend 79 hours away cant even contact me coz he is so busy with other things
it is time to move on
I have no posative none at all left
