so tonight I had a attack it is painful and I cant control anything.
when I get really tired I just get over everything..l
I lose myself in a different vission
I cant hold back the tears as the flow down my face
of my fists from punching anything in there way.
I know how bad and weird I am
but I have come to terms this freak of nature is me
I cant change who I am
but I can shape my future
I am proud of my past
I have done things people never thought they ever will
I have come so far not to turn back
I have found love so happy to find someone to love me
it bribgs me to tears knowing that all the stuff I have done my love have to accept my past into there live as well.
as I have bad dreams and flash backs everyday.
I try so hard to put other people before me
and mist people that meet me say I am rude that I bully that I am a bad person that I should be nicer. but in the end them saying that to me makes them as bad as me.
there isnt much that can stop humans
thibk about 911 those sivk people how plan to killl others like how and why nothing could stop them it was gonna and it did
well this is like my attacks if it is gonna happen it will
so as busted my knuckles and git sti kes tonight I think about why did I flip out. well I miss her
I miss dana so much
she kept me going in the hardest parts of my life
I cant thabk her enough as everyday she can bring a massive smile to my face
I know she is younger then me but we can have g9id times together just like the next person and as she lays there I cant help but wonder what happens if she wakes up with no momory of me or if she doesnt wake at all
I dont know what will happen to me
to it has benn 7 weeks
and I need her
hwr crazy laugh as we hubg from the fans or her ideas of making life awesome as we go camping in my sitting room. I loge the time we went fishing in her fishtank
so much much but the best thing was seeing her smile the glow/sparkle in her eyes the way she light up from the littkes things
dana please come back
I miss you
