whats my purpose?

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by happyycamper

by happyycamper

why am i here?
what's my purpose?
what do i have to do?

those are questions i rarely ask myself. when i do, i can't stop thinking about them.

why am i here? sometimes i feel like i'll never be good enough for anyone. no one will ever love me because i'm just not lovable. that's just how i am.

no one will ever feel like i'm the stars in their night sky. no one will ever feel like i light up their world. when i step in a room, no one looks up and stares. they look up, see me, and look away. so i'm definitely not here to be the light in the darkness of someone's life.

what is my purpose? i'll never be smart enough to be at the top of my class. i'll never have enough confidence in myself. i'll never be sporty enough to look super skinny. sure, i might be slim, but, slim is not enough for society.

so my purpose isn't being smart, being confident, being slim and sporty. that's not my purpose. do i have a purpose?

what do i have to do? now here's a question that makes me panic. although this question may sound similar to the previous, it's not. it's completely different, actually! this question is dedicated to society.

what do i have to do in order to become respected and accepted? i may be respected by my peers. i may be accepted by my family and friends. although i can be my true self around these people does not mean that i am accepted by society.

so tell me, what do i have to be, what do i have to do to be loved by society? all i want is to be loved by society!! if you're not, you will be destroyed. if not accepted by society, you will be called fat,ugly, stupid, disgusting. you will be treated like a creature and thrown around like a rag doll.

even after all these questions, i try my hardest to be optimistic. i try my best to spread my happiness. even after all my happiness is drained because i've given all of myself to save someone else, i will be joyful. i will be joyful because although these questions scare me, i know that everything will be fine and sorted out once i'm prepared.

stay happy:)

-k💘