iNSaNiTY: One-Shots

Jacket: Klance

A/N: I fell into Voltron hell

WARNING: Unedited, existential crises, post-character death, and angst (also: think of this as a modern AU)

Keith was never known to be very open with his emotions. It's not exactly that he hid them, it's more like he just didn't speak up about them. So when he got the news that Lance died in an accident, he didn't say how crushed he felt. He didn't dare mention how his heart dropped to his feet as soon as the words left Shiro's mouth. He kept his mouth shut when he noticed Pidge and Hunk lost their usual enthusiasm. He couldn't bring himself to say a word of anything — because he felt it was all his fault.

Lance left his jacket behind when he was over at Keith's house. Keith rolled his eyes when he saw it laying carelessly at the end of his bed after he showed Lance out. He contacted Lance almost as soon as he saw it, letting his friend know that he left something but also mentioning that he shouldn't be so forgetful. "Relax," Lance had said. "Forgetting something never hurt anybody." Keith rolled his eyes again and told him to hurry up because he didn't want to see that stupid jacket anymore.

When Lance didn't show up, Keith was slightly worried. He was more confused, but still worried. He called his friend again, and to his surprise, Lance didn't answer. Lance always answered. Keith knew immediately that something was wrong. His mind was racing through different horrible scenarios that could have happened to Lance,but he quickly silenced them. Lance would be fine. Keith called a few more times after Lance didn't show up for a few hours. There was still no answer. Keith looked to Lance's jacket and could only wonder where its owner was.

It wasn't until school the next day did Keith learn of Lance's death. No one but Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro knew in order to keep it a secret until more information was found.

Keith gently closed the door to his room when he got home. He went to put his bag down but stopped when he saw what was on his bed. He stared at it intently as if he expected it to vanish along with Lance. It suddenly made Keith very angry. He tossed his backpack to the side and grabbed the jacket. It was because of this that Lance was gone, Keith was sure of it. His grip tightened around it. "Stupid jacket," Keith growled in a low voice. "I never liked you; it always means Lance is nearby. Lance never takes you off... so why did he when he was here?" His last sentence was barely spoken above a whisper. The question left his mind to be filled with his anger again. It was because of this jacket. "I'm throwing you out."

Keith walked up to his door, but he was stopped with his hand hovering above the handle. His eye caught sight of a picture on his cork board. There were several items on there. Notes, reminders, and many pictures of past memories. But one particular memory got his attention. It was one of him and Lance. Lance had that stupid grin on his face as he did in all photos and Keith looked annoyed if not slightly surprised. For some reason, Keith remembered that very vividly. He remembers hanging out with Hunk, Pidge, and Lance. And Lance came out of a store with Pidge, wearing a stupid jacket. He was so excited about it that he showed it off to Hunk as soon as he saw him. Pidge had a look that said she had to buy it for him and was already sorry. "Keith!" Lance shouted as he ran over to where he spotted his friend. Instead of babbling like Keith thought, Lance instead pulled him close and pointed his camera at them.

A camera that would go unused now.

Many of the photos he and his friends owned were taken on that camera. Lance loved that camera about as much as he loved his jacket. Keith looked down at the jacket. It didn't change much since then, but you could tell it had been a while. Some places were a more faded green than others and one of the sleeves even had a slight tear at the end from so much use. Maybe a lot more time had passed between the photo and now than Keith thought...

Keith rest his hand back to his side. He couldn't just toss this jacket out — not this one. This was one of the things Lance valued the most. It wouldn't be right to get rid of it. So Keith walked back to his bed and sat down. He wasn't quite sure what to do. Part of him wanted to put the jacket where he wouldn't be able to see it, but another part of him wanted to never let it go. He knew he couldn't have both no matter how much he wanted to.

"I'm sorry, Lance," Keith whispered suddenly. The thought of this being one of the only things left of his friend's existence caused him great pain. He hugged the jacket to his chest as if that would stop the hurt emanating from there. He felt his throat begin to sting but he wouldn't let himself cry. He couldn't. For Lance's sake, at least.

Keith fell back on his bed and shut his eyes. The material of the jacked balled into his fists reminded him of more memories. It reminded him of all the times he grabbed onto this same stupid jacket to stop Lance from running away or doing something idiotic. "Hey, Keith," Lance said once. It was a warm summer night with a cool breeze so they decided to hang around outside. "Do you ever wonder what else there is in the universe?"

"You mean like planets and stuff? Not really."

Lance hummed. "I meant more like other life besides us. It's a big universe, isn't it? There has to be something else out there."

"I never thought of you as the existential type."

Lance took it as an insult. "I can be existential if I want to!" He puffed out his cheeks and pouted, almost making Keith laugh. But Keith always tried not to laugh at Lance when he could help it. It would mean Lance would try harder and harder. "I actually think about this stuff a lot... maybe more than I should." Lance's voice got to a level it hardly ever was — quiet. "I just can't help but wonder if there's something more. And then that leads me into other things..." He trailed off.

"Like what?"

"Y-you probably don't wanna hear," Lance's usual confident demeanor was slipping. His brows were pulled together in worry and his legs were hugged to his chest. "It's not something most people like to talk about."

"I don't mind, Lance. Now spill."

"Alright," Lance said reluctantly. "I just kinda start thinking about life itself — how it started, why — things like that. And then that leads to... how it ends. Everyone who is alive will die someday, and I know that can't change, but if I really think about it it scares me. People kind of just pop into the world whenever they want. Like, you and I weren't alive but suddenly we exist and we have memories and emotions out of nothing. But then we can suddenly not exist. We can return to the nothingness that we came out of. I'm just scared of not existing. What will happen? Do we just stop? Do we move onto someone else without knowing? Is there a heaven? Hell? I know I would rather be in hell where I exist than in a void where I don't." Lance stopped. He looked at the ground with wide eyes and his hands gripped into his jeans tightly.

"Are you alright, Lance?"

Lance shook his head. "Now you've got me thinking about it." He buried his head into his knees.

"I-I'm sorry."

Keith hesitated before putting his hand on Lance's shoulder. From this action alone, Keith could tel that Lance was trembling. "Listen, Lance," Keith made his friend look at him. "I know that stuff seems scary, but it won't happen for a long time, trust me. You don't have to worry about it. Just think about now with me, with all your friends. I'm not quite sure if my words can help you as much as you need, but I'll be here to listen if you feel like this again. I'll get to you as fast as I can if you want me to."

Lance looked at Keith, a few tears staining his cheeks from his distress. He broke into a large grin and threw his arms around a startled Keith to pull him into a hug. "Thank you," Lance mumbled into Keith's shoulder. Keith smiled a bit before returning the hug.

Keith stared wide eyed at the ceiling. He tried his best to keep the water in his eyes from escaping but he feared they might win. The stinging in the back of his throat was becoming almost unbearable. He had to let them go. So he did. He let all his tears roll down the side of his face and fall into his hair. A sob escaped his lips and he buried his face into the jacket — right where Lance's shoulder would have been.