Three Years

seven

Kirstin exhaled deeply as she leaned against her hotel room door. She shouldn't have helped him in the first place. He deserved to be in pain, it didn't matter whether it was physical or emotional. Seeing him for the first time in three years flipped a switch on inside of her, and she needed to flip that switch back off as soon as possible. 

An annoying buzz indicated that she got a text so she grabbed her phone while the screen illuminated her face.

Don't forget about dinner tonight at The Hudson, be there at 7 xx

Damn, she had totally forgotten about the dinner with all the commotion that had happened. Kevin and Alyssa were celebrating a week until their wedding with a fancy dinner that all their friends were invited to. 

Which meant Avi would be there.

Kirstin was in the process of typing an excuse about how she couldn't make it anymore, that she felt ill and jet-lagged but she couldn't bring herself to hit the send button. Kevin was always there for her, through the good and the bad, and now she didn't feel like attending an event that meant a lot to him just because her ex was going to be there. How more pathetic could she get?

She tossed her phone on the bed with a tired sigh and decided to take a shower to freshen herself up. Some people that she knew of didn't enjoy showering, but Kirstin felt the exact opposite. She loved showering because it cleared her head and she felt all the weight of the world off her shoulders. In fact, she actually dreaded the moment she had to turn the warm water off and get out.

It only took her 40 minutes to do her makeup and pick an outfit, which was a new personal record for her. Kirstin did a little twirl as she checked out her dress in the mirror. She tried to tell herself that she was dressing up to please herself and nobody else, but deep down she truly knew that a part of her wanted to impress Avi. Huffing and puffing, she grabbed her purse and shut the hotel door behind her.

***

"And then she fell straight into the birthday cake!" Kevin announced and everyone around the table erupted with laughter, slamming their palms on the table and clutching their stomachs as they tried to find air to breathe.

...well, everyone except Kirstie and Avi. 

The two were forced next to each other which made the whole evening unpleasant and uncomfortable. Kirstin was sipping her red wine while she checked the time on her phone. It was early morning in London so Kirstin figured Sierra would be up already, since she liked to wake up at the crack of dawn. She excused herself from the table and called the number of the babysitter outside.

"Hi Tori! Is, um, Sierra awake yet?" Kirstie asked excitedly, pulling her jacket closer to her as the cold wind beat against her. 

"Hey, Kirstie! Yes, she's been wide awake for hours now, I'll go and call her." Kirstin could hear Sierra's name being called in the background and after a pause, she could hear the little girl squealing. 

"Mummy! I miss you so much, Mummy," her sweet little voice comes through the phone and it makes Kirstin realise just how much she truly missed her daughter.

"I miss you too, my angel," Kirstin says with tears brimming her eyes. "But I'll be home before you know it."

"I know, Mummy, I just miss you lots and lots; but I made a gift for you! I will give it to you when you come back from 'Merica." The way Sierra said America made a breath hitch in Kirstin's throat; it reminded her so much of Avi.

"I can't wait to see it! Listen, I need to go now but I love you very very much, okay? I'll speak to you soon, my darling," she said, choking up on the last few words.

"Bye, Mummy!" Sierra spoke one last time before hanging up the phone. Kirstin allowed a single tear to slip out of her eye; she just missed her little girl so much, she wasn't used to being separated from her for this long. She quickly wiped it away and turned around to walk back into the restaurant, but someone in her way stopped her.

"Who was that?"