Three Years

fifteen

Avi felt his entire body go completely cold and he was sure his heart stopped beating for a second. "Excuse me?" He sputtered out, certain that he had heard incorrectly. Kirstin dropped her head in her hands and started to cry quietly.

"Please don't make me say it again," she choked out, still not wanting to make eye contact with him.

"Did you just say I have a daughter?" Avi asked slowly and this time Kirstin looked into his eyes and noticed how they were glistening with tears. She nodded her head slowly and awaited for an outburst of rage. She was sure he was going to yell at her for keeping his daughter away from him for three years, tell her how he wanted full custody, but none of that happened. He just sat there with no emotion on his face, looking at anything except Kirstin. 

"Please say something, Avi," Kirstie begged but Avi refused to say anything.

"I just want to be left alone right now," he muttered sadly before putting his headphones over his ears and drowning out the world...

...and Kirstin's sobbing.

 He had a daughter... this was all so crazy to him. Millions of emotions were running through him at that very moment; anger, confusion, sadness, happiness. How could Kirstin keep his own flesh and blood away from him? For three years! Now he had missed out of so many milestones in her life; first steps, first words, first birthdays. He was curious to know how the little girl looked. Did she have Kirstie's beautiful, hazel eyes or did she inherit the electric green ones from her father? Did she have that adorable little side smirk like Kirstin had? Maybe she had Avi's crazy, curly hair.

Now all he could think about was meeting this special little girl. The only thing that worried him was the possibility that she might not want to meet him. After all, he hadn't been there for most of her life, he wouldn't blame her if she hated him. 

With all Avi's thinking, he didn't even notice that Kirstin had fell asleep, her head lightly resting on his shoulder. He looked at her tear-stained face and felt a pang of guilt in the pit of his stomach. He had done this to her, he broke her. Avi was starting to realise why Kirstin had kept their daughter away from him. He slept with her and then dumped her the next week, which was something he was still ashamed of to this day. His thoughts were interrupted by an annoying voice coming through the aeroplane's speakers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are experiencing slight turbulence at the moment. Please put on your seat belts. Thank you."

Avi didn't want to wake Kirstin up so he tried ever so gently to lean over and do her seat belt, but it was pretty difficult. He had no choice but to wake her up from her peaceful slumber.

No doubt that it would be awkward. 

"Kirstie, you need to wake up," Avi said gently, shaking Kirstie slightly. Luckily for him, Kirstin was a light sleeper so she woke up very easily. Her eyes cracked open slightly and then all at once, and she was aware of her surroundings again and who she was laying her head on.

"Shit, Avi, I'm so sorry," Kirstin rambled, a noticeable blush already finding its way upon her face.

"It's fine, I just woke you up to tell you that there's turbulence so we have to put on our seat belts," Avi cautiously smiled at her. He had no idea where they stood now, it was all one big mess. He figured they'd have to sort it out though, so he spoke up and said, "I understand why you hid her away from me, Kirst. After what I did to you, you probably didn't think I would be a very good father."

"There's never been a moment where I doubted your capability to be a good father, Avi," she said immediately, clutching his shoulder. "I know, and I've always known, that you would give nothing but your absolute best to your children. I was just upset at the time and I wasn't sure if you wanted children yet," Kirstin stated sadly. 

"Could-" Avi paused his sentence in order to gain some courage. "Could I meet her? I want to be part of her life from now on, if that's okay. I want to make up for everything I've missed, she needs to know that her father loves her."

Kirstin's smile reached a mile wide, "She'll be delighted to meet you."

Avi grinned back, he was going to meet his daughter! Nothing could make him happier except for one thing, and it was bugging him constantly. "Kirstie, what are we? Where do we stand?" He asked confidently.

Kirstin's smile instantly faded. She should've known that question was coming. "I'm not going to lie to you Avi, my feelings for you have definitely come back. In fact, I don't think they ever left; but I just can't get past what happened. You made me feel like absolute shit, like our love meant absolutely nothing to you." Avi was saddened to hear this, although he wasn't surprised. He did treat her like trash and he regretted it everyday. 

Avi took Kirstin's hand and connected it with his own. "I think it's about time I told you why I dumped you, Kirstie." He took a shaky breath and made eye contact with Kirstie, who was silently begging for him to continue. "The short period that we dated, Kirstie, could've easily been the best time of my life. It sounds so cheesy but it's true. You are the only girl, and will always be the only girl who can make my heart race just with a simple glance. The reason I left you was because-" Avi got a little choked up at this part but still managed to finish what he wanted to say. "I'll never be good enough for you, Kirstie. I always manage to fuck things up and I really didn't want to fuck things up with you. I thought instead of waiting for things to go wrong, I might as well end things now, even if it killed me inside. I thought you deserved better than me."

Avi's speech tugged at her heartstring.  Avi thought he wasn't good enough for her but in Kirstie's eyes, he was perfect. Flawless, one might even say. She sighed a long, heavy sigh, "Avi, we all fuck things up. You're going to fuck things up but guess what? So will I. There will be obstacles in a relationship but you work as a team to overcome them."

Avi grazed his thumb over the back of Kirstie's hand and held it a little tighter; he was scared that he would fall apart if he let go. "Let me prove my love to you. While we're in London, I'll show you that you're the only one I want to be with." 

Kirstie pretended to think about it for a second before replying with a simple, "Okay." Avi grinned like a Cheshire cat and held in his sudden urge to burst out with excitement; they were still on an aeroplane, after all. 

"Could you tell me about our daughter? What's her name? What's her favourite colour? What does she look like?" Avi asked as Kirstin leaned in closer to him.

"Well, her name is Sierra, first of all. She has green eyes like you, her favourite colour is yellow..." Kirstie said and Avi just stared at her lovingly, excited for the future ahead of them with their little girl.

Wow I think this is my longest chapter XD This book has 1K reads already, 100 votes and 100 comments already?! Thank you guys so so so much :)