forget (joshler)

ten

i'm writing this at the dentist because i have to get fillings and i'm shit scared of needles sos. by the way I LOVE JENNA OK. IVE MET HER BEFORE AND SHES THE SWEETEST NICEST PERSON EVER OKOK. SO DONT KILL ME OR HATE ON ME ITS JUST FOR PLOT DEVELOPMENT.

tyler's pov

fuck my head hurt.
that was one of the first of many thoughts that began to run through my head.
what the fuck did i do last night?
i rolled over, avoiding the light in my eyes, and promptly let out a short scream.
josh dun.
was in my bed.
"what the fuck?!" i exclaimed loudly.
he rolled over looking as groggy as i felt.
"oh shit tyler." he said, wiping his eyes.
"why the fuck are you in my apartment? why are you in my bed?!" i yelled, my voice getting higher with each accusation.
"uh well you called me last night and i was worried about you so i came over." he said, rubbing his neck.
"holy shit did we-" i began but he cut me off
"no we didn't have sex.." he trailed off at the end.
my mind was raging.
"what did we do josh?" i deadpanned.
"well- uh, you may have sort have given me head." he said, cheeks turning slightly red.
i froze.
"get the fuck out of my house." i said.
"tyler wait let me-" he stammered
"get the fuck out!" i yelled.
he quickly grabbed his stuff and walked out, hesitating at the door before exiting.
i couldn't believe it. i couldn't believe he would take advantage of me drunk like that.
i looked at the clock and my heart sank.
jenna.
i grabbed my phone from my nightstand only to find it was dead from not being plugged in. i put it on the charger and waited anxiously for a sign of life.
as it powered on i was devastated. i had many missed calls and texts from jenna but the last text was the worst.
jenna: i stopped by your apartment to check on you. i can't believe you. you make me sick. i hope you find the lord in your life again.

did she see me with josh?
no shit tyler, shes not just going off on you for no reason.
i fell back on my bed and felt my now charging phone buzzing with notifications.
josh: tyler please talk to me.
josh: i tried to stop you, you were very persistent.
tyler: don't you dare make this my fault. i was drunk you piece of shit. you took advantage of me.
josh: tyler i'm so sorry i need you to forgive me please
tyler: i can't talk to you right now

i slammed my phone down beside me. i was so frustrated. picking it back up again i composed a message to jenna.

tyler: jenna, you don't need to act like this. there's nothing wrong with what i did.

i was surprised to see her typing a reply right away. i waited anxiously for what she would say.

jenna: there's no excuse. do you know what your mother would say if she knew?

shit my mom.

tyler: don't you dare bring my mother into this
jenna: you forced me to.

being raised in a heavily christian household, i knew what my mother would say if i ever told her i was gay. i could barely admit it to myself. i had felt it suppressed inside of me my whole life but with josh it just happened.

tyler: get the fuck out of my life.

with that i decided it was time for a nap to try and get my emotions in check.

trying to make this more exciting or suck less. you will see ;)