I want more than all this life has to offer. Not because all of you think it isn't worth it and not even because I think I deserve more, but because I can't simply find happiness in settling. Many hate me because I'm a "perfectionist". I point out every flaw and crack of foundation. I don't see what something is until it's the best it can be and I over analyze everything. Happiness is becoming overrated and money is worthless... I want more but I don't know what more is and I'm positive it doesn't exist. So here I am digging for a miracle surrounded by people living in false serendipity. Living false lives and giving fake smiles. Is it so wrong to show how unhappy I am through my lack of showing teeth? Is it wrong that you're not good enough and that I'm never finished? Is it bad that my trust runs low but my ambition high? The color black is my only comfort of clothing. My teeth are a little crooked to match my smile. My eyebrows are a little butchered and my body all too bland. I expect more from those I choose to place around me and I hate settling for okay and fine. I lack attraction but exceed in suspicion. I can't be nothing more or less and I'm starting to excel at standing on the fence. Simply because no one seems to think like me. I'm alone but never lonely. Ugly but never evil. I dislike the lack of efficiency and love to intellectually daydream about plan A and B. Why do I make so many charts and graphs in my head? Why do I care too much for little and not at all for plenty. Why am I here, saying this to you all! What can you do for me that I can't for myself? Why are you even here! More importantly, why can't I feel the blissful ignorance you do?
