Michael thought he was in love with Calum before, but now, he's really not so sure. Was he in love, or in love with the feeling Calum gave him? He doesn't understand at all, so – stupidly enough – he calls Calum.
"I think we thought we were in love." Is Calum's answer. "I think we wanted to be in love."
Michael licks his lips, pulling a hand through his hair. "But we weren't, were we?"
"I guess not. Michael, why are you asking me this?"
"Because I'm so fucking confused. I've hit a mid-midlife crisis and I don't know if I've actually been in love before."
"Who's got you thinking about this sort of shit?"
The name is on the tip of Michael's tongue, but he doesn't want to say it to make things awkward, so, he shies away from the answer. "No one; it doesn't matter. Did – Did you love me?"
"I think I was deeply, deeply in like with you, and never wanted to let you go. I don't know if that was love, though." The phone starts to crackle, and Michael thinks Calum has hung up until he speaks again. "Do you find it weird that you're talking to me instead of somebody else about this?"
"You were always good at telling me exactly how it was." Michael says.
"We were shitty together, and we did shitty things. I treated you like shit, and we both know it. That's the truth. Whoever this is will love you wholeheartedly, and you won't have to question for a second if it was love or not. Oh, and Michael?"
"Yeah?"
Calum answers, chuckling a little as he says, "I know it's Ashton. They're my friends, too. Ashton literally called me, scared that I would punch him if he liked you, but then he said all this shit about how he would treat you better than I did, and it was pretty much just a big lecture about how shit I am. But, anyway, Ashton will treat you greatly."
"Goodbye, Calum. I love you like a friend."
Calum laughs. "I love you like a friend, too."
The conversation quickly ends, and Michael hangs up. He turns around to see Luke standing there with a smirk on his face. "You like Ashton – that's adorable."
"Fuck off, I do not."
"But you're attracted to him, no?"
"Luke!" Michael squeals, throwing a banana from the fruit-bowl at him.
Everything Luke says makes Michael flustered – because, well, does he like Ashton? He's certainly developed an attraction for him, but he's not sure if it's any further than that. Though, he does pick up on everything Ashton does now, and that makes him nervous.
He's not sure if he wants to like Ashton. If they don't turn out well, how are they meant to go back to normal? Sure, him and Calum did, but they did it with a world between them.
"Just admit it. Ever since he told you, you've been flirting with him."
"Get out, Luke." Michael says tiredly, fidgeting with his bracelets. "I don't want to talk about it. What's between me and Ashton is between me and Ashton."
Luke grins. "I'll invite him over."
"Luke, don't."
The blond gasps fakely before holding the phone to his ear. "Oops, I'm calling him."
Ashton comes over, and they watch a movie. He begins to blush once he notices Michael being pushed closer, but doesn't say anything in fear that it'll make everything awkward. Luke just smirks, thinking about the match-making skills he has as he leaves halfway through the movie.
"Luke set this up, right?" Ashton asks once the blond has left. Michael nods. "Damn, for a moment I thought you actually wanted me to come over."
Michael scrunches his face up. "I always want you to come over; shut up."
Ashton grins at this, head leaning back on the couch. "That's reassuring."
Michael leans back on the couch as well, looking at him as if he's never seen Ashton before. He licks his lips, and continues to stare.
"Don't look at me like that if you don't expect me to kiss you." Ashton blurts out, face flushed, even though his expression hasn't changed. He's still staring back at Michael, still staring back at his lips.
"What if I want you to kiss me?"
Ashton leans forward and kisses him before he can think about regretting it. Michael grabs the hem of the tanned boy's shirt because he has no idea where else to put his hands, and leans into the kiss as well. Michael likes this. It feels like his first kiss all over again, and he feels something at the pit of his stomach that makes him smile.
Michael kisses him down his neck, getting carried away once he realises a quiet moan come out from the back of Ashton's throat.
"Oi, don't do that shit on the couch!" comes a sharp yell, and Michael sighs, because – even though it's the holidays – his brother is still there to fuck things up for him.
Ashton pulls back, blushing. "I should – I should go. Oh my god, I should really go." He gets up, and makes it to the door.
Michael widens his eyes, shaking his head. "Ash, don't, please. I – I kissed you for a reason."
"I like you, too. You know that, but this is all so . . ." Ashton plays with his hair. "I'm sorry. We'll talk about this tomorrow."
Michael frowns. "No. We're talking about this right fucking now, Ashton. Sit down."
Ashton sits down obediently, looking at Michael through his eyelashes. He tucks his hair behind his ear insecurely, scared about what his crush is going to say next. Rejection swarms his mind, and starts to play with his hands.
"Don't be all weird on me, Ashton. We kissed because we like each other." Michael says, pacing in front of him.
"What does this make us?"
Michael scoffs. "If I had a dollar for every time I'd heard a rom-com say that – "
"Michael," Ashton interrupts. "Please, tell me what you want me to be."
The desperation in Ashton's voice is clear, and Michael looks away, holding hands with himself. "I really like you, I think," Michael says hesitantly, "but w-what if something bad happens and you're not even my friend anymore?"
Ashton smiles up at him. "I'd never not want to be friends with you, Michael. Is that all you want me to be?"
"Let's just . . . take it slow, yeah? See what happens."
Ashton stands up, and takes Michael in for a hug. The pale boy laughs awkwardly, but hugs him back, listening to Ashton's heart nearly beat out of his chest, and feeling something gnawing from the pit of his stomach, because, did he do that?
They go into Michael's room, and Michael pretends to be busy so he doesn't have to supply conversation. Ashton watches Michael clean his desk until he bursts into nervous giggles. "This is really awkward, Mikey." He quickly remembers his mistake. "Sorry, I know you don't like being called Mikey, I – "
"It's okay," Michael smiles, "you can call me Mikey."
That little last bit happened in real life can you believe it (meaning the mikey part)
thoughts on the lack of malum and the rise of mashton?
do you agree that malum weren't in love?
where do you think this is going to go?
