hey hey hey how're yOU ALL FEELING SINCE LAST CHAPTER
Calum feels horrible, but he goes to just so he can see his ex. People don't touch him because they're scared that he'll kill them, so they just result to back-chatting, and him being referred to as a faggot a million times.
He barely makes it through the day, disappearing during lunch because he doesn't know whether or not he should go over to his usual table. Instead – luckily – he feels the need to piss. And there – on the floor, scrubbing at a stain harshly – is Michael.
"Michael?" Calum asks, tilting his head. "What are you doing?"
"What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?" Michael snaps. "I gave a kid a blood nose, and he put blood everywhere that I have to clean up."
"Why did you punch him?" Calum questions, sitting down on a closed toilet.
"Why do you care?" Michael asks, scrubbing at the floor even harder. "Soon enough you'll be in Brazil, not giving a fuck about anything because you're the amazing Calum Hood, and I'm the one who held you back. Thank god you got rid of me, huh?" he asks rhetorically, looking over his shoulder to glare at his ex.
"You broke up with me."
"Because you thought I'd do something like out you. If you think that lowly of me, I'd rather not be in a relationship with you."
Calum sighs, unzipping his pants to piss. He really doesn't know what to say to that, because, Michael's right. Michael's always fucking right. Once he's done, he sits down next to Michael.
"I love you." Calum says. "I know that's not an excuse, but, god, I'm so fucking scared."
Michael looks up, pulling his shins from underneath him so he can sit properly. "You think I wasn't scared when we were going behind your girlfriend's back, or – or when we kissed for the first time? Calum, you aren't the only scared one here. God, Calum, I was a fucking home-wrecker for you."
Calum looks down at his lap, the realisation sinking in. He doesn't realise how much he owes Michael until it's too late. He never realised that Michael had kissed him back just to make him happy, and went behind Grace's back for him. Calum doesn't know why he even bothered to second-guess his trust.
"I'm sorry. I'm – I'm sorry."
Michael sighs. "Just let me scrub the blood off the floor in peace, Calum."
Calum gets off the ground, humiliated. He walks out, grabbing a soccer ball from his locker, passing it from hand to hand. No, he thinks. This isn't right. He puts it back in his locker, and goes into the music room.
He knows he's not meant to be there, because the teachers are strict about it, but he doesn't care anymore. He grabs a guitar, not in the mood for the bass. He sits down, thanking whoever tuned it before playing a rough tune.
"Let's forget the past, I swear we'll make this last," he starts, furrowing his eyebrows, because hey, that's a good line. In desperation, he writes it on his arm and grabs the bass, liking how it sounded with the words he was mumbling. "Go ahead rip my heart out, that's what love's all about."
He looks at the clock, seeing he's got ten minutes to write this somewhere. He gets up, racing out of the class, bass still in hand. He goes over to his locker and opens it, grabbing a piece of paper to write on the back of. Once he's got all the words down, he stuffs it back in his locker.
"Hey, fag! Gonna write a love song about your boyfriend's dick?"
Immature, Calum thinks, walking past them, immature, immature, immature. He puts the bass back in the class and thanks fuck he has a free so he's only skipping one lesson. He goes up to the oval to practice a few more times, heart hurting when one of his teammates, scoffs and mumbles the word, fag under his breath.
He shakes his head, trying to ignore it, but he can't. He closes his eyes, and goes to shoot. Missing by an inch, he grows more frustrated. He lines the goal up again and seriously, how did he miss that one?
"You're shooting with your feelings." He hears, and Calum turns around. Johnson stands there before stealing the ball. "Get your head in the game, Hood." He grins, kicking it back to the Maori.
"My head's in the game, but my heart's in the song." Calum mumbles, looking at the ground.
"I know you're all heartbroken and shit but – like – right now, just think about the ball. Think about the patterns on it, think about where you want it to go . . . just think about it."
Calum puts all his energy into just thinking about the ball for a second, and gets it in. Johnson claps, and gets it, returning it to the boy again. The Jamaican nods for him to do it again, and Calum does, missing.
"I don't feel like it, Johnson."
"You always feel like it, Hood." Johnson retorts. "So what if Michael broke up with you? He had a fair enough reason, and you need to realise that. So, take the anger you should be feeling out on this ball."
"What do you mean 'for a good reason'?" Calum asks.
"You were an ass to him, accusing him of shit he didn't do. And before that, you got him to cheat with you on your ex. Oh, how dicky of you." Johnson starts. "I can't get over how disrespectful that was, Calum – not to mention degrading to Michael. He thought you were just going for him because of his body for the longest time. You've used everyone that's tried to help you, Calum Hood, and that is the worst thing about you."
The Maori watches the Jamaican walk off in shock. Nobody's ever really told him off before, so he doesn't realise just how wrong the whole situation with him and Michael was.
And it was all his fault.
Yeah, Michael could've said no, but really, Michael would've done anything just to make Calum smile.
To Michael, Ashton, Luke: I'm sorry. I didn't even realise how bad I was.
It's a stupid text that doesn't say much, but he hopes it's enough. He walks out of school and goes to his (Mum's) car, unlocking it and driving away. He drives and drives and drives until he doesn't even know where he is anymore. He pulls over, guessing he's somewhere near the city, now.
He rests his head on the steering-wheel.
You've used every one that's tried to help you, Calum Hood, and that is the worst thing about you.
i am severely punishing calum because he's a dickhead oops.
thoughts on michael being mean to him?
thoughts on calum realising he's being a fuck knuckle? apologising briefly?
thoughts on johnson saying what he said?
