A rant
I'm sorry
I keep ranting
You don't have to read it c:
Okay
I'm tired of caring what the world thinks.
I'm tired of mentally trying to justify everything I do.
I'm tired of wanting perfection.
I'm tired of having to measure every little action.
I'm tired of being tired.
I'm tired of having dreams that won't come true.
I'm tired of wishing I were better.
I'm tired of not telling people what I really think.
I'm tired of judging people.
I'm tired of being judged.
I'm tired of being insecure.
I'm tired of insecure people taking it out on others.
I'm tired of jealousy.
I'm tired of being too smart and too dumb.
I'm tired of being brushed off as a generic teen.
I'm tired of knowing every mistake and achievement I make will be an embarrassing memory.
I'm tired of seeing those around me act so sure of themselves.
But it's not all sadness.
I can't say it's true for everyone like some adults say, but some others my age do seem to have similar problems. With some, symptoms of insecurity include:
-Bragging
-Laughing a lot
•and I mean A LOT
-Always accenting certain words (ie. Oh my GOD, he is, like SO f*cking HOT. Better get my LIPS unchapped. *jerks head to one side to further emphasize*) Yeah, she's never going to date anyone worthwhile talking like that.
-Constantly complaining
-Obsessed with how bad and good their life is
Now, I haven't observed this in others, but these are my insecurity symptoms (a hopefully temporary virus, there's no medicine I can take to soothe them)
-Never saying their full thoughts on a subject
-Painfully quiet, in voice and word count
-Can't bear to act social in fear of messing up
-Jealous
•Doesn't really reveal it (it's a flaw, don't make it obvious!)
-Generally keeps opinions away from others
-Agrees on everything
-WHY IS EVERYONE SO CONFIDENT, MESS UP DANG IT
I try my hardest to get through this stupid teenage stage without annoying adults or standing out, but it's tricky. Hopefully I can keep it up.
Thanks for listening. Again, I apologize for ranting, especially on a subject that so, so very many people can't relate to.
