Aaliyahs Pov
I believe that i push people away because i dont understand emotions.
The mere thought of vulnerability is so confusing and scary that i bottle it up and kill myself slowly without even realizing; pushing the human part of me and putting more thought into a character or a song that ive realized that i dont know who Aaliyah is anymore. I rely on a make believe imposter to channel an emotion. Ive been showing Michael a fictional ectoplasm of recited words and choreographed actions that cover the wings of the production and everyone who sees my show.
A being on the outside and an empty basement of crumbling nothingness on the inside.
A person without purpose.
Every thought every word running a mile a minute as i watched a soulful creature perform a part of his soul in front of millions who knew nothing of the heart of the magnificent creature, who gave so much, and knew so little of the truths that happened to the entity who watched him from the wings longing for that happiness.
I watched a restless, sad, but loving boy turn into a hyper, energetic, and confident man from point A in the wings and point B on his home on stage every night. The transformation happened as the lonely Beast transformed into a loving form who understood what it meant to give someone apart of yourself.
The Beauty, was the sleak black stage that helped the lovely figure glide across the stage in an effortless breeze of grace.
This "Beast" was a beautiful young boy who turned into a magical, intelligent young man with the heart of Peter Pan. He had a future and yet mine felt like a circle, always moving, but never getting anywhere.
This boy who so innocently intruded in my life, made me feel full as if my life had a purpose. He gave me a feeling that i hadn't felt or thought i was capable of feeling in a long time.
I felt happy
