Survive Tomorrow

It's not easy

Łucja's POV

There is something going on with Callie and it is serious, she lost all her hair and she barely moves out of bed, she always goes out and sometimes doesn't even come back for the night. It has been 3 months since I last really talked with her but that talk gave us nothing. She won't tell me what is going on with her and I don't have any explanation for it. I am so so worried about her, it is hard for me to look at her and not break down crying, I just really want to kiss her and hug her. I don't know why every moment spent with her feels like the very last one, like there's no tomorrow. I don't know what is going on but I have to find out because it is not only affecting her but me too. She hasn't eaten in a while and she refuses when I make her something.

Tomorrow is her birthday however, I hope I can spend some time with her I got a lot of planned, she will love that I got her tickets to her favourite band but I don't know if she'll have time for me... even on her birthday. I have also got her a promise ring...I really love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her... only if she wants to too. I have everything set up on a beach for her for tomorrow and I hope everything goes well...I am so nervous.

Callie's POV

It has been 3 months, I have only 3 left... How horrible does that sound? I have lost all my hair, I have no strenght left to even get out of bed. I spend most of my time in the hospital and the chemo is killing me. I know that Lucja is worried I can see that her eyes don't sparkle anymore when she looks at me or hugs me... It hurts to see tears in her eyes whenever she looks at me... but I cannot tell her...no not just yet. I am Callie and I will do it my way, the way I always wanted to do things. I will enjoy my life to the last minute of it, everything, I promised myself.

Tomorrow is my birthday, I have seen Lucja getting prepared for it for ageeees and I don't know what it is but it all seems so awesome, I can't wait. I hope my illness doesn't get to me and that I can spend time with the love of my life! I will try so hard to make it the most beautiful day of my life...I mean I have nothing left.

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Callie's Birthday

Callie's POV

I wake up to see Lucja not in my arms anymore, I yawn, I haven't slept that well in ages. I get up carefully to see if she is downstairs. I get downstairs to our kitchen and see breakfast already on the table 'awwww' "Happy Birthday baby!!!" I hear Lucja screaming and I chuckle as she hugs me tight. "Thank you" I hug her back and go and eat. "Hurry up, we have a lot to dooo" she says in a childish voice that makes me laugh but also smile. She's so adorable. I finish my breakfast and follow her upstairs to find a little box neatly packed into wrapping paper on the bed. I pick it up and start unwrapping. Tears fall down my face as I see tickets to my favourite band - All Time Low. "Oh my god Lucja!" she chuckles as she goes out of the closet and looks at me "Happy?" "Are you kidding me?! This is amazing! We gonna see All Time Low together in-" I look at the date of the concert... 4 months? 'Shit, I will not be here anymore'. Tears start to build in my eyes but this time there are not happy ones. 'No, no, no why is this fucking illness taking away everything I want!!!' I notice a sad expression on Lucja's face so i quickly wipe my tears and smile. "Princess thank you so much, don't worry I am crying from happiness" I chuckle as she wraps her arms around me, sitting on my lap. I missed her so so much.

After dinner Lucja said she has one more surprise for me, she tied my eyes and drove for ages, when we finally got there we were on the beach and we sat watching the sunset with her cuddling me and us laughing and playing with the sand. "Now Callie come with me" She took my hand and guided me to a table nearby chuckling when my eyes widened. We sat down and started eating with me admiring her beauty like usual. 'God she is so beautiful' Then she told me to look at something behind me and when I turned back around she was there with a ring. A ring. "Babygirl, we have come a long way together, we fought for a lot, we come through tears and laughs together and this time spent with you was the best time in my life. You are my home and I feel safe with you, I want to grow old with you and have you by my side forever. Will you make me the happiest girl on the earth and stay with me forever?" By the time she started speaking I was already in tears. In tears because I wanted to stay with her forever, in tears because I couldn't do that. In tears because she deserved someone much better for her, in tears because I couldn't be that person. I sat there shocked not knowing what to say, but I couldn't promise her something I wouldn't be able to do, something I wouldn't be around for... I looked at her through tears noticing her nervousness. "Umm... Lucja... this is not easy. I can't-t promise you-u forever-r. I'm-m sorry-ry" This is all I could say and I saw her in tears I stood up to hug her. "It is-s okay-y-y, you-u-u don't have-e to-o-o feel that way-y-y towards-s me too-o" She said crying more as her voice broke. It broke my heart to see her like that but there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say to make it up for her, nothing will heal the pain she is feeling now. We stood there hugging each other for a long time both of us crying... I wish I could be there for longer 'Fucking cancer!!!' I can't contain the anger I am feeling because of that illness, this is so not fair? Why me? Why now? I guess we will never know...