Survive Tomorrow

I'm sorry princess

Łucja's POV
     I stormed to the hospital to see Callie's mother and father crying. "Where is she? Is she okay? What happened" I almost screamed at them trying my best to stop the tears from falling. However, Callie's mum didn't say anything she just gave me a letter in a similar fancy envelope I received last morning. I opened it, falling to the floor and I started reading as more tears kept on falling from my eyes.

     'Hey princess... Remember the day we met? In that bar, you were sitting with your beautiful pink hair on one those high chairs looking incredible like always. I never felt anything towards boys... that's why I never had a boyfriend even though there were a lot candidates. Haha. Anyway I felt something in my stomach as I sat next to you and with incredible confidence I asked if you want a drink and you smiled a smile I never saw before. It made my heart melt to see how beautiful that smile was. The cute polish accent you have is just so adorable, I could listen to your voice on a mixtape and I wouldn't get tired of it, ever. Then, you took me upstairs and I was kind of worried you're going to rape me, haha I'm joking. Is it bad to laugh at your own thoughts? Anyway, I had the best day in my life! And when I was going, you turned me around and kissed me! You can't imagine the feeling all over me, it was...magic. I gave you my hoodie or as you say "you stole it" I couldn't help but to smile when I saw in it, you looked so perfect. Well you always do but in that hoodie your pink hair seemed to contrast and your beautiful eyes would shine and your smile would light up my world like the very first time I met you. My world would stop when I looked at you. I knew I loved you then but as every day passed I fell in love with you every minute, every second even more and I was so deep in love with you it hurt. As the time passed I noticed that you still had that beautiful smile but in your eyes I could see the pain which hurt my heart because the only girl I ever wanted to be happy was hurt and it was my fault! Then, it was the day of my birthday, I knew you had something prepared for me you were practically flying around the house and I saw your happiness and it made me realise that I really love you and I want to stay with you forever... After a while of us sitting on the beach watching the sunset in each other's arms you led me to a nearby table... I guess you set that up. It was so beautiful baby. We laughed and smiled and then... you took out a ring. A ring that was so beautiful and shinny it brought tears to my eyes. I wasn't only crying because of it, I was crying because I knew I couldn't agree, and I cried because I knew how horrible and unfair life is and I cried because I knew it would hurt you, break you... and I did, even though you tried to cover it up with your beautiful smile your eyes had pain in them that I couldn't bare and it hurt me... but I knew I couldn't promise forever. Forever wouldn't wait for me...
    I know you wondered where and why I went out every morning... you thought I cheated, I read your diary (I'm so sorry) but I didn't I would never cheat on my world, my smile, my laugh. I-I went to the hospital.... because.... Łucja, I have cancer... Yesterday was my last day but I couldn't see you in any pain, I couldn't, I couldn't. I had to do this... I'm gone now but you did it... you won the challenge, you survived without me princess. Now... you'll have to do it every day... I'm sorry princess, I'm sorry I didn't tell. I couldn't lose you, I couldn't. I know it will be tough. You're allowed to cry, scream, get angry at me but please don't give up Łucja, you can't.
      I know the only way for your heart to mend is for you to learn to love someone else again and I want you to move on and survive without me. I know you're stronger than me, so much stronger I wouldn't do it. It was hard for me not cry and scream for that one day you were away. But please remember that I loved you and I still do and I always will love you. I'm watching over you from the clouds above and I'm here with you giving you hugs even if you don't feel them or me, I'm here. Keep strong, I love you. I'm so sorry for not telling you, I'm so sorry... Cancer is a bitch and I'm not a fighter... it ended me, I wasn't strong enough, though I tried to keep strong so much for you princess. I want you to remember me as your bubbly girl with that goofy smile who makes lame jokes. That's why I put that picture of us two when we are covered in chocolate from the chocolate fountain in Poland. I want you to remember me like that. And I want you to find someone who treats you the way I did or better because you deserve to be happy and be treated like the queen you are. You'll always be my princess now and forever...'

    I took the envelope and ran, nowhere specifically, I ran anywhere. I knew I couldn't escape the pain so I cried I cried so much, my world is gone, my world has crashed. No! It couldn't be true, it just couldn't... not her...no...