Moving Forward

Christmas and the New Year part three

North's POV cont.

I watched how Luke, Victor, and Raschel interacted with each other; I wanted to see their dynamics in action for myself so I could report to the others after the holidays. Our visit here during Thanksgiving hadn't been enough, they had been kept busy with a mission and entertaining a large group. We did minute shopping at the mall; Luke showed us his tree house and introduced us to his horse. We went skating a few more times and I was getting better with each attempt, my brother kept his word and taught me without pranking me once. We spent time at the Children's Home, played with the kids, helped Lester with some repairs and helped them make cookies. With so many kids, you had to divide them into groups, making sure there were enough older ones to help you with the little ones. While Christmas was still a few days away, we helped do the prep work for their holiday meal. There were pies and cakes to make, stale bread to shred for stuffing, and rolls to bake. You could feel the excitement in the air and see the wonder in every smile. Raschel explained it to me. For many of the kids here, this would be their first real Christmas. While the Nuns had done the best they could, there hadn't been money to purchase more than the bare necessities of life. If it hadn't been for Luke's team adopting them, they would have been closing their doors instead of celebrating the Holidays as their version of a family. I was somewhat disappointed that we would be having Christmas dinner with a bunch of strangers, but Luke set me straight. We would spend time with them on Christmas Eve, helping the nuns put out the Christmas presents once the kids were asleep. Christmas day would be at the Ericson's house. He told me that the kids understood that we had families that we wanted to spend the holidays with and that it was important not to make them to dependent on others. He also stated that young children were usually emotional during the holidays and it was best not to stress them with a bunch of strangers.

They delivered Christmas dinners and presents to their families that night, hams took a day to thaw out and some dishes would be prepared the day before Christmas. Since not everyone ate pork, some families received Goose or Turkey. Some men refused to accept the gifts, too proud to accept charity, thankfully there was only a couple of them. Most were single mothers who were struggling just to keep a roof over their children's heads; the father having taken off and didn't pay child support. When we returned the house after making all the deliveries, we found that the elder Mr. Ericsons, Colt's mother, and the Maguires had arrived. There were last minute food shopping, package pick-ups, a few emergency deliveries and time to spend with family at the end of the day. I did get a chance to apologize to Raschel the first night we were here; she was kinder than I had the right to expect. She had stared at me for a bit and then told me that she understood that I let my anger get the best of me but I needed to always remember that everyone had a story and some were worst than others. That anger begets anger and it made things harder for the one I was angry at and for me. She pointed out that I hadn't been fair to her since she hadn't been the one I was angry with, it had been Dr. Green and that he had been wrong too. If I was already on a job or had one scheduled, it hadn't been his place to commandeer me to do something else, especially when he had been told that he had to wait until they finished with the school before entering and setting up his classroom. She reminded me that Uncle had given me a fresh start when he had me brought to the states to live with him and Luke. That no one expected me to forget what happened to me but I was hobbling myself by not letting go of the past. I was still letting my dad control me, giving him power over me. Her words bothered me and I discussed it with Uncle, he agreed with her statement. He was blunt, telling me that I bullied Luke when I finally started talking to him. That I used my refusal to speak to them as a way to punish Luke for having a better life, that it gave me a form of control and a stick to beat them with. He made it clear that life was never fair, that I would only get out of it what I was willing to put in. The words that hit home was when he said I was acting like my father when I yelled and bullied others and the sad thing was that he was right, I was acting like him. Then he did something that I will never forget, he took down to the gym and taped the picture of his brother onto the punching bag. He wrapped my hands and slid on the boxing gloves, then ordered me to start punching. I hadn't realized that I still had so much rage built up inside of me, each punch felt as if it was just the tip of the iceberg. I had started slowly at first, halfheartedly to indulge him, but then something inside burst and my hits started to come faster and faster, harder than the previous one. I kept pounding the bag with my fists until I was exhausted, I fell to my knees and cried all the tears my father would beat me for if he saw even a hint of them in my eyes. I don't know when Luke had joined us, but suddenly he and Uncle was hugging me.

"I've got you little brother," Luke's voice was husky with emotion," and I will never let you go."

"Neither of us will," Uncle promised.

Luke's POV

I had known that North apologized to Cupcake for hurting her at the school when we were last in Charleston, but I didn't know what she had said in return. Chel didn't pull punches when she spoke, she believed in telling the truth so that there was no misunderstanding. It allowed Vic and me to know where we stood. I wasn't sure how my brother would take that, he could be touchy with certain subjects and didn't do well with criticism. I had been waiting for him to broach the subject with Uncle, knowing he would choose him over me. Silas wasn't here and he wouldn't want to interrupt the Korbas attempt to mend broken fences. I didn't bother to ask Cupcake what she said, that was between her and North, I just wanted to be there for him when he cracked.

Since moving to Boston, Vic and I have been becoming more mature, Sven has encouraged us to be more responsible and decide things for ourselves. Seeing a therapist has helped and so has the change in teams. I know that North is seeing a therapist, it was mandatory but he has more to work through than Vic and me. Moreover, there were many changes going on for the Blackbourne team and several of them didn't deal well with change, North was one of them.

Uncle had filled me in on what had happened and told me why the five of them had seen the file instead of just North. It had made me angry with Gabe and Owen; it should have never come to that Raschel's past wasn't their business, she shouldn't have had to agree to let even North see it. That is one of the things I disliked about the team, they were always sticking their noses where they didn't belong. If Owen had paid more attention to us than he did to his paranoia, the team wouldn't have a quarter of the problems it does now. Most of us would have benefitted from counseling, including Owen. We all needed to grow up, especially Doc. The problem was Owen and Doc had still treated us as if we were ten-years-old while expecting us to behave like adults. Kota's suggestion that we all go to the same college and live together, there is no way Vic and I would agree to that. He wasn't thinking it through, Owen hasn't any school records since age twelve, he wouldn't be accepted as a student or a teacher. As for Doc, he may not have the title for much longer. We were all interested in different things and there was no one college that covered it all. I didn't want to live with eight other guys, it would be the same problems all over again and Vic would never agree. Not that I blamed him. Heck, Owen would expect him to pay for everything again.

Back to North, I was surprised that punching the bag was enough to break him but then I saw my father's picture on the bag. I understood, Uncle did the same for me when I first learned that my father was raising some other man's son when he hadn't wanted me. I'm sixteen-years-old and I have never met my father or received any kind of acknowledgment from him, it was the same with my mother, she dumped me on Uncle before I was a month old. Neither of us has seen or heard from her since.