TVD rant

4x01 review

HEY UNICORNS

Welcome to the review of 4x01 of The Originals like yay I've waited for this moment for a long long time

Though, slight warning: I'm recapping out of my head again so I may miss something important FORGIVE ME

So the episode starts with Vincent's little speech, and I honestly still don't care about him but hey maybe s4 will change that you never know

So he's talking in the church and it's all chill "today marks five years since the fall of the Mikealsons"

So basically Marcel has been running the city again like he used to before Klaus came and he's having a great time and stuff

Meanwhile Hayley had been searching for stuff to cure the Mikealsons and she's very close now so YAY HAYLEY

She was so badass this episode but we'll get to that

SO, we see this shady lady watching a shady dude who was a vampire? Idk it doesn't matter, what does matter is that Klaus' sireline wants to see him tortured, and they want his blood to track down Elijah because GASP his sireline is still alive so that must mean he's alive too

It took them five years to figure this out

F i v e y e a r s

Honestly *rolls eyes*

So anyways, turns out shady dude is some guy called Allister, and apparently Klaus turned him and did bad things to his wife and children? Idk I didn't really pay attention

And it turns out shady lady still doesn't have a name but she's Marcel's spy or something, and she tells him that apparently the witches are up to something

Also Vincent and random lady Maxime are going to date I'm sorry I forgot but I shipped it, I was fully into it before I was reminded what happens when you ship anything new in TVD or TO

I mean.... Tyliv, Jaiden, Noralise, Kolvina, Jolaric, need I say more? Either half of the ship or the entire ship DIES

So no I am not shipping Vincime/Maxent/?????

I refuse to ship anything new I REFUSE

Though they were really cute.....NO NO NO I REFUSE I REFUSE

So anyway Marcel and Vincent make an appointment and Marcel walks into Josh's little cafe thing and sees a picture of Cami and Davina I SCREAMED

I mean I don't care about Cami but Davina, my queen, my everything WHY DO THESE SADISTIC WRITERS KILL EVERYONE OFF WHY WHY WHY WHY

So that was nice

And then Marcel and Vincent talk and stuff and I don't know I didn't really care

MOVING ON Hayley and Hope are so adorable

Hope is such an adorable little seven-year-old like Summer Fontana is the best

But anyway Hayley needs to find the last remaining of some wolf pack, I think the woman's name was Keelin let's just call her Keelin

So Hayley wants to talk with Keelin outside and was perfectly civil but Keelin ran away once they were outside

I was like NO HAYLEY STOP HER WHY AREN'T YOU STOPPING HER

But when Keelin finally thought she was safe Hayley was just waiting for her there all chill

God I love Hayley

Like there was a time that I hated her WITH A PASSION but not anymore

I probably hated her in season 1 because I was still Kalijah trash and Hayley got in the way of that with Haylijah but I ship that now so it's all good

She was soooo badass this episode I cannot say it enough times

Anyways, Hayley eventually has to kidnap Keelin because those after her have followed her and stuff

MEANWHILE Marcel talks to Klaus and wants to know Allisters weaknesses

So Klaus tells him some fake shit about Allister and Marcel believes it

So obviously Marcel's strategy against Allister doesn't work and Allister gets pissed and wants to see Klaus suffer and dead but not before he can have his blood to track down Elijah, Rebekah, Kol and even Hope so he can kill them all and end the abominable bloodline forever WHAT KIND OF SADIST IS THIS

Like I get it, Klaus hurt you and your wife and stuff BUT HOPE IS AN INNOCENT SEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD HOW CAN YOU WANT TO MURDER HER

So anyways, Marcel goes back to Klaus because he said false information but Klaus offers him a plan, and let me just say it was a pretty slick plan

MEANWHILE Hayley gets Keelins venom and wakes Freya up I honestly didn't care because she killed Davina but ok

NO I WON'T LET IT GO

After that Freya starts the spell to wake the others up but the people who followed Hayley and Keelin earlier have followed them again so Hayley goes to buy time and SLAYS

HAYLEY WAS SO B A D A S S THIS EPISODE I CANNOT EVEN

I reluctantly admit Freya was a teensy tiny bit badass as well, like when she melted that guys brain "that's what happens when people annoy me" I normally would say slay in caps lock now but the sad part is that she did slay, she slayed Davina

NO I WON'T LET IT GO

So anyways, Freya wakes Elijah and the others up and HAYLIJAH REUNION

MY SHIP IS ALIVE

I AM ALIVE

YOU ARE ALIVE

WE ARE ALIVE

THE WORLD IS ALIVE

I only need a Rebel reunion now and Davina magically coming back to life for a Kolvina reunion and then I can die peacefullly

But MEANWHILE Marcel shows Klaus to the vampires and puts him into a boundary circle created by Vincent who had to cancel his date night to help out Marcel I'm getting some serious Bonnie vibes from this why are all witches on these shows treated like this WHY

Like they all have to put their personal needs aside and go out of their way to help others they can never be selfish not once nope

So Klaus is stronger than everyone thought he would be after 5 years of torture, but I mean he's an Original what did you expect

And he bites Allistar which would mean Allistar's death but instead Marcel gives an epic speech like "this is why I keep him around" like just in case someone gets bitten by a werewolf and well, Klaus' blood is the only cure

And that's how Marcel earns back the respect of his community so yay

I'm sorry okay I cannot bring myself to hate Marcel even after what he's done to Klaus IM SORRY

So Klaus gets put back into his prison thing and he and Marcel have some deep conversation like "you. are. weak." Klaus is still able to push his buttons and manipulate him perfectly, I mean it's Klaus Mikealson what do you EXPECT

BUT THEN Marcel stabs him with Papa Tunde's magical knife of never-ending torture

And also Klaus has a conversation with Vincent and Vincent reminded me why I don't like him because he mentioned Cami and you all know how I feel about her so

OH before I forget there was also some shady witchy shit and Hope was somehow involved and those drawings creeped me out, not gonna lie

I don't know if any of you watch Teen Wolf but it reminded me of when Lydia would draw the same tree over and over and over and they would all be perfect replicas in season 3A

So that was it for the episode, it gets a 3/5

ALSO I'm scared because I saw the promo and CAMI WAS IN IT and I don't understand SHE'S DEAD LET HER STAY DEAD

THIS IS ENZO ALL OVER AGAIN, WHO DIED AND STILL HAD HIS ENDGAME WITH BONNIE

ONLY JULIE PLEC

Well, that was it for today, so I'll see you soon. Stay magical!