Suicidal Headcase

Go To Sleep

((Song is Rest In Pieces by Saliva. Go ahead and start now c: ))

-Tyler-

Josh had come back with my prescription, but he said he needed some time to think and left soon after. He was acting weird and he barely looked at me when he talked to me. He said he needed to go home for the night.

That was three days ago.. He hasn't replied to me since then. I've sent him text after text. Did I do something? Oh god I hope I didn't do anything.

Tyler: Okay it's been 3 days Josh reply to me please.

Tyler: At least tell me it isn't me. Please.. Even with the medication I can't sleep.. I'm just worried sick about you.. I know you have problems, too and you've helped me so much with mine please let me help you.

Tyler: Josh! Seriously?! Say SOMETHING.. What did I do? Ever since my appointment.. Is it me? If it's me then just say that.

Josh: It isn't you.

Tyler: Then what is it?!

Tyler: Back to not replying? Josh.. I can't do this.. Whatever it is just tell me so I can move on with my life or whatever we need to work out can be worked out.

Tyler: Josh?

I sighed as I reread the messages between us, or more like the messages I sent and his one reply. I laid in bed just staring at the ceiling thinking, wondering, what the hell could've gone different. Why was he closing off all of a sudden. Whatever the reason is, it hurts.

If he just told me the reason It'd be a lot easier than not having any closure. I hadn't attempted texting him again since yesterday. If he wanted to come around he would, I guess. I hope.

I heard jiggling from the front door and I shot up out of bed and sprinted to the living room and caught a glimpse of the familiar blue set of hair coming through the door. I smiled widely and hugged him tightly.

"I've been worried sick about you!" I breathed out. "Are you okay?" I pulled back to look at his face which was mostly void of all emotion, his face seemed flat and cold. Not the Josh I knew. Not the Josh I have been living with for 4 months. This was not the Josh that I loved.

"Yeah.. I've just been trying to sort through things.. Can we talk?" he asked.

"Of course, Josh what's wrong?" I asked he took my hand and lead me over to the sofa.

He took in a big breath and released it. "God, Tyler.. This.. This is hard to say.. So just bear with me okay?"

"Okay..? Josh you're kinda scaring me.." I said worriedly as a tightness surrounded my chest.

"I'm scared, too, but.." He sighed out deeply. "Tyler, I have to leave.. Not now, but soon.. And it could be very sudden, like you may wake up one day and I'm not here anymore."

"Wha- what? Josh what do you mean? Will you come back, will it be like this small break you needed?"

"No.. It'll be for good." he explained and looked down at the ground.

"What do you mean 'for good'. Josh this isn't making since. Why?" I asked a bit demanding.

"I can't explain it, you just have to know. I can't really say." he said still not looking at me.

I stood up from the couch. "No! You can't just come into my life, save me, make me fall in love with you, and then just leave without an explanation! You can't do that! I trusted you Josh, tell me why you have to leave!" I yelled tears were now streaming down my face, but I couldn't will them to stop.