Diary of a broken soul

Chapter 1

May 15, 2006

My name is Luke Tennyson, I'm 17, some girls say I'm really handsome, others, say I look like a rat, I've always listened to the negative comments in my life. I justify myself by saying it's just to improve the way I am, but we all know it isn't true, we all (or at least me and my friends) hear the negative comments just to destroy our confidence, to be honest, this is the first time I've ever "confessed" this, even if it's just a hopeless therapy diary I feel like I can be free here, you might be thinking "therapy diary, what the hell is that?" Well, since my mother's death I've been going to therapy, and the stupid phycologist told me it would be a good idea to release everything I feel here, I regret telling her my passion is to write, I don't like her, Anne is her name, she is stressful, she can't stay quiet for a minute, when I don't want to tell her something she insists until I do, I want her to give up on me, I hate when I go with her, it's so boring, her office room was all grey (another reason to dislike it) and it has weird paintings, like an obese (I seriously hate the world 'fat') woman naked, or a monkey, I think she is the one that need a phycologist, I'm not that bad, I could be worse, I'm not fine, but I'm not bad, I just don't care anymore about my future, my mother was the reason I wanted to get up for school, I wanted her to be so proud of me I gave my best in everything, she couldn't go to the last football match, I wish she had, but I got to say goodbye, and I'm thankful of that, not everybody is that lucky, I've heard a lot of people saying "I didn't get to say goodbye" while crying, but saying goodbye is horrible, the scene of my mother in the hospital, dying wasn't beautiful at all. Anyway, as I was saying, my hair is almost blonde, but it is just really bright brown, I have to admit my hair is what I love about myself, my grey eyes are not as magnificent as many people say they are, I like them, but I'd rather have blue or green eyes, I don't like grey, it's so depressing and sad. I have friends, I'm not completely alone, my best friends are Mark and Erick, I can't believe Mark is my friend, I mean, he is popular and everybody likes him, but he's not popular because he's an asshole that plays football and gets all the girls, it's because he's funny, charismatic and intelligent, I hate it when people like others because of their appearance, unfortunately, that's how the world works, people judge others by the way they look, stupid, isn't it? Mark and Erick don't know much about myself, I don't like when people know a lot, I like things I like to be a secret, that's why some people say I'm mysterious, but I don't think that wanting to have a really private life is to be mysterious or anything related with that, it's not wrong to be self-contained, people just think different is wrong. most of the people in school say I'm cold, but I am not, I need to be comfortable with someone to be who I am, that's why I only give short answers to strangers, I usually give up when they insist a lot, and start being myself, when they insist it's because they're interested in that thing, that was what my mother told me one day, she also told me that I have to fight for the things I want, with a limit, of course. She told me so many things and I can't remember all of them, I wish I could. I wonder if someone will ever read this stupid diary, of course Anne will, I hope my dad doesn't because it would he really awkward, he doesn't know much about myself, I don't want him to know, he would be disappointed, he wants the perfect son, and I can't be the perfect son, at least I'm not the worst. Perfection doesn't even exist, why can't he understand that?

Tomorrow I'm meeting Anne again, she told me she had a great idea for me, that can't be good.