Diary of a broken soul

Chapter 2

May 17 2006

I forgot to write yesterday, nothing interesting happened, the guys (Mark and Erick, that's how I call them) wanted me to go with them to a party, but I don't like parties, I think I don't like them because when I was little my dad organized a disaster, he invited people that I didn't even know and he didn't invite my friends, I was all alone. (Did I mention that I received girly gifts? I got a lot of dolls, like seriously?) I spent my whole day reading some old books my dad has, they were boring, I don't love history books, I prefer adventure, horror or drama, I think the tension of know what will happen next is awesome, it is like life, it's funny to try guessing the future, it's not that difficult of course. Cause and effect, if you do something wrong of course you won't get a good effect. Anyway, Anne wants me to go to a camp, I hate her for this, "You need to socialize more if you want to be happier" Ugh. I do not need to socialize more, I don't need more friends to be happy, I'm okay! I don't want to, but she doesn't understand, I'm starting to think she doesn't want to understand me, I've explained her everything I think, almost everything I know about myself. (I'm not planning to tell her all about my private life, I know she tells everything to my dad.) I'm not very excited about this, I don't like the forest, it's lonely, dark and scary who would? Also, I don't like (hate) when there are a lot of people. She said this camp was for people like me, I don't know if she's referring to depressed people, or crazy people I don't know, but why would anyone create a camp for depressed people, it makes no sense, it's beyond stupid.

I still don't want to go, I've tried everything to convince him it isn't a good idea, but he didn't listen, he never does, so I'm going to it next weekend. I really hope no one tries to socialize with me, I do not want new friends. I can't understand why people think that if you have many friends you'll be happy, they are wrong, I have two friends and I'm extremely happy with my life, I don't wish I was someone else because I wouldn't have these two by my side, believe it or not Anne, I love my life.

May 21, 2006

Today I met this girl at school, her name is Belle, I totally think her name is perfect for her, she is funny and smart, her eyes are green and her hair is black, Mark forced me to talk with her, he said it was time for a new girlfriend. I've had girlfriends, but I don't like it a lot, it's too many stuff to think about, not to mention that most of the girls are materialists, so the relationship is boring, they just want gifts and gifts all the time, I'm not rich at all! I don't think Belle is like that, I don't completely know her, I don't have the right to judge her, at least not right now, but I'm sure she is different from the others, but that doesn't mean she is perfect, she is one in a million, she is at least for me, special, I'm still trying to discover why, some people say she is just another ordinary girl, but for me she's not ordinary, she has something special, I think I like her, I'll talk with her more, I'm sure this feeling is just temporary, I just met her, I shouldn't like her in that way, at least not right now, It would be awesome if she was my girlfriend, to be honest, but that is almost impossible, she is really loved by everybody, she has a lot of friends, and a lot of guys are waiting for a chance, most of them are really handsome, so, I'm nothing compared to them, a happy perfect girl like Belle wouldn't choose a depressed lonely guy like me. I'm going with Anne tomorrow too, I hope she doesn't try to know everything about me again. The camp is in 5 days (in Saturday) and I still don't want to go. My dad says it is going to help me a lot, but how? it's so stupid to think that. I'm not trying to be rude, but he is a little stupid (just a little).