A Car, A Torch, A Death

3; a nostalgia

Midnight, i woke up and josh is already preparing himself, "oh, uh, morning? night? whatever, kels, hi" i smile and sat up, cleaning my glasses and keep watching him.

"i, uh, me and tyler gonna go check the arena, you wanna come?" he asks putting on a hoodie "i mean, you can go back home, we'll be sure you got the barricade though" i kept silent, still trying to process everything.

"no, thank you, josh, i haven't decide what i'll wear today, besides, katie gonna come over" i couldn't stop smiling, i dont know why, thousands of girls is willing to sacrifice anything to be in my shoes; watching josh get ready with his hair still messy, his eyes still slanty, and slept with me.

what

"wait, uh, you slept here?" i ask nervously, he chuckles.

"yeah, i hope you're okay with that, nothing weird happen. you were just hugging me and i feel my armpit is drenched and i was worried because your body is warm, i thought you were sick. nothing weird happen."

i chuckled and says okay, i reach for my phone and a lot of instagram notification came in. i opened it and reply to some comments of my recent painting. i took a shot of my window in the instagram story and put a 'today' in the middle and add it.

"you know what, i'll pick out your clothes that i'm sure tyler would recognize" he said going in my closet and start wrecking them, while he's going to my bra, i escape my self to the kitchen downstairs.

i saw tyler making a koko crunch cereal, i never knew he likes koko crunch. i approach him, he still havent notice me, i walk past him and open the refrigerator. i search for the chocolate milk and it isnt there. "morning"

i froze.

i close the door and smile faintly at him. "morning" why do i have to sound so weak.

"where's josh? we have to go" he asks, grabbing another bowl and pours the cereal.

"he's uh, he's picking an outfit for for later today, i dont know?" he somehow smiles and and pours the chocolate milk. he's making josh a breakfast? but all i know josh doesn't like koko crunch.

"here" he said sliding the bowl to me. my heart warms, its really something, "oh yeah, couldn't forget" he said opening another drawer and grab my childhood favorite spoon. the frog spoon.

he remembers, you dont have any fucking idea, of how fucking happy i am. "thanks, you remember"

he smiles, "couldn't forget"

—•—•

"okay, we're going, dont forget to lock the door, and tell mom" he says walking down the porch while i wave to mark in the car.

"your outfit is fire, jesse's gonna be so proud" josh said messing with my hair and i grab his hand, laughing.

"okay, sir"

both of them got into the car and it drove fast. gotta blast.

anyway, i lock the door and the clock is showing 2.46 am, i go back to my room to found a pile if clothes in my bed, i'm sure he was struggling to put the clothes back, the closet door wont closed, meaning i'll just wait for mom to open it.

not my fault.

and the fact that josh also picked out my underwear is gross. i dont know man, you feel

in my surprise, he picked out the shirt that only me and tyler have. the taco bell team shirt. its sooo old, i doubt it still fits me. i'm scared katie would figure out that i have this shirt, that means i have something related to tyler, but i hope she doesn't notice.

he also picked out the symbol jacket i made myself, a pair of black ripped jeans a red sneakers, nice taste, josh, nice taste.

i dm-ed him through twitter, saying a thank you for the designer pick. I decide to stay up, even though i shouldn't.

this would really sound depressing, and made me seem so pathetic extra extra, but, really, i dont know who she is, what she is, she's the voice inside my head, who's always talking about anything, always trying to steal my focus when i'm alone, i dont know, sometimes she's the one who lifts me up, sometimes she's the one who made me fall. 

mary 

that's what she told me her name is. 

yeah i know, this seems like the goddamn forest fic (hands up man, your fic is so good i cry)

but she's always there since i was a kid, okay, she kinda forced me to be her bestfriend, and i said yes whatsoever cause she's the only one that i have that moment. 

why dont you finish your painting?

"i will, not now, i'm not in a good mood" i said, talking to the air, i drank the water that josh bring me last night, then lay down. not doing anything.

dude, not in a good mood? tyler literally just being your brother down there, okay that sounds wrong, but seriously.

"no, mare, its just, i dont know, feels weird, not tyler, just me, i feel weird"

what, cause you literally drenched josh's armpit? i saw you two sleeping last night, real goals right there, totally ship it

"ugh, that's even weirder, josh is tyler's bestfriend, okay, it would be extra weird"

weird ass, okay, since you dont want to continue the painting, lets go to the lake

"you can go by yourself." i said pulling the sheets, "i want to go back to sleep." 

no you dont, c'mon, the moon is so bright out there, i bet -

ding

joshdun : you are very welcome, young lady. you know what, its freezing cold out here, i just made a fire cause nobody could do it, and because it turns out mark haven't got the key for the arena yet. a-hole.

kelseyjay: thanks for the info, lmao, seems like you're the only caveman left in the gang.

joshdun: yeah lol. wish you were here, could really heat us up with your hand

kelseyjay: uh

joshdun: shit, SORRY THAT CAME OUT WRONG.

josh dun just cursed on me, what a time to be alive, mary is gone, peace, i got up and does what she says anyway, i sit on my big leather chair behind my work desk and continue the painting. 

i always use watercolor for my daily paintings, but for canvas, i always mixed oil and acrylics. anyway, i start off the first layer of tyler's whole body, keeping it one base color, then while its drying, i did the background with all black, with a bit strokes of red and blue here and there. while i wait for both of it to dry, i reply to josh and we kept dm-ing until he finally got in and sound check, and i finally finish the last layer of details i need.

The clock shows 4 am, and josh falls asleep, maybe its best if i did too.