I was always uneasy on boats,
Talking to you kept me afloat.
That night was filled with three different coffee cups full of sleep. Long bus rides with my knees to my chest, earbuds plugged in sync.
Nobody questioned anything.
I was perfectly fine being freezing cold,
trapped in a musical overdose.
Trying to replace words with the noise in my head.
Trying to remember to nod my head
When we arrived you were dressed in blue,
I laid back to sleep in pink,
ignoring the numbers in my hand, that you offered so graciously to me.
You all took them so easily.
Using sketching as an excuse instead.
That excuse has been used so long it's dead.
When I woke up to a kilogram of beauty to plaster on my face.
Some liquid sleep to start my day.
Quiet faces in small, small spaces
Always leads them to pick up on the little things
That
Don't
Add
Up
About my behaviors around everything.
I'm sorry for everything.
You had to break the news to her.
Who ever it was.
I blame you.
I blame you for the tears down my grandmothers cheek
I blame you for me distancing myself from her for a week
I blame you for the hell you caused this home
Even though you were only trying to help.
You just had to get the fucking numbers involved.
I bet I sound crazy, yeah?
Here's another thing, you can't prove shit,
But then again,
I can't prove myself to be fine.
So I'll wait
Ever so patiently until it all passes over
Until it forgets
And she'll come back to me
She's a dear old friend
It's just about time, in fact,
She's coming down the line.
I remember that night, my forgotten friend asked me if I was alright,
I can't be sure it was her.
I can't be sure it was in spite
I'm shaking thinking about that night.
They all distanced themselves
By the fourth day I was an island.
I became a boat, throwing numbers desperately off of the deck so they wouldn't weigh me down.
Was that explanatory enough?
You'll never hear me come out and say it.
I'll hint.
Beat around the bush.
Put my thoughts into ridiculous metaphors.
Because I want you to know only if you choose too.
Otherwise you wouldn't be searching for answers hidden in my words.
I'm making them so painfully obvious, yet you're still so blind.
I sometimes think you get it, but then it all feels wrong sometimes.
Now this is of one, of another one
She keeps me afloat on this boat I'll never get off of.
What about the album where we mention every addicted song except for one.
I know you know which one.
Forget about what I just said
Cuz i already have.
