Sometimes I wish I didn't know,
What I knew back then.
I wish I didn't play by the rules,
I let myself set.
I wish I didn't get so far,
Because it just feels worse now that I've let everyone down.
I never meant for this to happen,
You have to believe me.
Now I'm slipping on my own words and struggling to speak.
I never meant to hurt you.
I didn't mean to do that to anyone.
I see it now though, I see how it all played out.
I refuse to talk to you about it now.
I might possibly die, but that will be fine, as long as I don't see you cry.
I never meant to lose my grip on reality. I never meant to lose control.
I never meant to let it go.
Then there's some days,
When it all plays in the back of my mind.
Every perfect porcelain lie,
Executed with the finesse I've always desired.
You see back when I had everything under control,
It's hard to explain,
It was like flying a kite, or a ride on a train.
It was easy at first and harder as time progressed.
I guess I wasn't ready yet.
I'm trying to find the motivation to
Be who I was,
While doing this all,
For the sake of you and cause.
I wish it was all identical,
And I hadn't left it behind,
I was better off with it,
Instead of you by my side.
Now I can't be the one to decide
With all of this musical bile
In my mind
I believed I would be able to do it.
Now I'm just a fool,
Who can't seem to flourish in school.
Because my mind flutters to other things,
That I wish of you.
I wish we could all press replay
Rewind so I could reminisce.
So I could fix everywhere I went
So wrong.
I'm falling apart because its gone.
