Love Bites [on hold]

☆|two

"I have feelings for you."

The words echoed in the wide confinement of the college playground. People streamed all around them, building up a noise so loud that she doubted her words might have gone inaudible.

But the flicker of something in his eyes proved that he had heard it; every single word of it.

"What?" His lips parted and he breathed out the singular word that came out as a knife that sliced through her hard. She didn't understand why the possibility of it was too daunting for him that he couldn't believe it the first time.

"I said I-have feelings for you," She spluttered. Her voice lost its confidence and wavered at that second time, because his expression didn't seem like it was about to change, neither to approval nor to disgust.

He only stared at her, his eyes blinking rapidly. His mouth gaped, but no more words came out of it. Suddenly, she realized the gravity of the decision she had taken earlier.

"Charles?" She pleaded, and couldn't stop her voice from shaking a bit. "Did you hear what I said?"

She saw his adam's apple bob, and she didn't need anymore confirmation to see how childish and pathetic she had made herself appear as. She took a step back and diverted her eyes, staring instead at her white sneakers as they crunched the gravel.

"I-this is a mistake. I was being ridiculous. Forget I ever said that." Tears stung at the back of her eyes but she blinked them away. She nibbled on her lower lip to keep down a sob. "It's nice to see you again. Have a nice afternoon."

And with that, she spun on her heels and stormed the hell out of there.

The air was cold when they stepped out into the patio, but not extremely cold, just enough to tickle her skin, forming goosebumps on her upper arms. Charles stepped aside before he walked through the door to let her pass first. She wasn't flattered, but she couldn't say she wasn't surprised by the act. Charles had always been a gentleman during the short time she'd known him, but she didn't expect him to keep his manners now after everything that had happened between them.

She didn't wait for him to catch up with her. She turned left and walked to the end of the balcony. She made a move to sit down on the railing, then swung her legs across and dangled them in front of her. Just less than a meter below her feet, the water of the river streamed in a soft wave. The lights from the city glimmered over the glass surface of the water and they looked like shining diamonds.

The opposite side of the peninsula appeared only as a dark silhouette in the distance, mostly covered by a cloud of fog that surrounded them. The stars were barely visible during that unclear night, replaced by the blurred bokeh of the faraway buildings. The moon glowed fully in the sky, surrounded from every side by nothing but clouds. It was beautiful.

It was beautiful, only she couldn't see the beauty in it.

Not anymore.

She felt his presence behind her without having to turn her head back. He wasn't close enough to feel the warmth radiating off of his body, but she knew he was there. A moment later, he walked over to the fence and sat down opposite from her. His back hunched over and he rested his face in his hands, propping his elbows on his thighs. He appeared to be deep in thought, and she didn't want to interrupt him.

She couldn't deny that his presence made her tense, and not just because of the fact that he was a boy. She had been with many boys, some of them high up on the scale of physical appearance, boys he surely couldn't stand a chance against, but they didn't make her feel that way. Perhaps that was the reason she had had multiple breakups in the first place. She had felt nothing - absolutely nothing, when she was with other men, or women, as a matter of fact.