Mercy

Chapter Nine» Hide away

**Caroline's POV**

His words made me cry. I wasn't lying when I told him I loved him. I do. I just have to figure out if I love him as a best friend or something else. Being with Braxton should help me find out. But, it would hurt Shawn too much. I don't know what to do.

--next morning--

I get up as my alarm goes off and head to the shower. I enjoy the hot water running down my body. It calms me for some reason. My mind starts to wonder back to yesterday, back to Shawn. I know he doesn't want me to choose, but I'm going to have to. If I choose Shawn then I'll hurt Braxton. If I choose Braxton then I'll hurt Shawn. There isn't an easy way to do this. Whatever this is.

I climb out of the shower and get dressed. Today I decided on wearing my faded ripped jeans with a white top and a light brown leather jacket on top.

I love my clothes. But, I love my shoes too. If someone was to ask me which I like better, I wouldn't be able to answer. Choosing between clothes and shoes is like choosing between Shawn and Braxton. I can't do it.

Today is gonna be a long day. I head out to go to school. As I open the door, I see Braxton coming up my drive way. He looks so handsome. This is going to be so hard for me.

He greets me with a huge adorable smile. "Hey Caroline!"

"Hey Brax!" We exchange hugs and he kisses my cheek. He's so sweet to me. I don't know if I should tell him what happened with Shawn or just leave him out of it. We began to walk and I decide to tell him what happened.

By the time I was finished telling him about yesterday we were already at the entrance of the school. He told me that he understands and he will support me no matter what or who I choose. I'm so glad that he is calm and he didn't blow up. As we walk in the double glass doors he grabs my hand and intertwined our fingers. The butterflies come back to my stomach, what am I saying? They never left.

I spot Shawn talking to some of his friends and I tell Braxton that I'll catch up with him later. I go over to where him and his buddies are talking. I slightly tap on his shoulder and he turns around.

"Hey beauti-", Shawn stutters. "I mean Caroline." I try to not be sad because he didn't call me beautiful. He always calls me that or something like it, not just Caroline. My heart aches a little at the thought of remembering why he didn't say it, why everything is different now.

I just shrug it off. "Um, okay... but hey." He smiles at me but gives me that 'I'm sorry for whatever I did to hurt you' look. The guys that were once standing there have disappeared so it's just Shawn and I.

"What's up? You need something?" Shawn said. Ouch what is his problem.

I cleared my throat and said,"I didn't know that I had to need something in order to talk to you, but alright." He shifted uncomfortably at my statement. He stayed silent. "Well, I just wanted to know if you're coming over after school today, like the usual."

I hoped he would say yes. But, part of me felt like he wouldn't say yes because all the stuff that's happened.  Please God say yes. He stood there without saying anything. Anything at all. He wasn't even breathing.

Finally he said, "I already have plans. Maybe next time though, for sure."
And with that being said he walked away from me and left me standing there all alone. It was in that moment that I had come to realize that my best friend  was no longer my best friend. And Shawn was no longer the Shawn I have known all these years of my life, but instead he was some other Shawn, a Shawn that may never be the same.

I couldn't contain the tears that were swelling in my eyes. The warm tears starting streaming down my face like a waterfall and I began to sob.

I couldn't be here any longer, I needed to get away. To find a place that I could just stay and play hide and go seek without anyone seeking me. A place that has always been dear to me and Shawn. I walked out of the school building and started up my car. I began driving and blaring the music to drown out my thoughts.